A teenagers thought book

Help me escape

"Your password or username is incorrect please try again."

I try desperately to type in my password again.   Hopefully it will work ,I think to myself.

The screen taunts me as if I was  child wanting to get my lunch money from a bully. 

Third time is a charm, I hoped as I tried to type in my password.  The loading sign appears, I sigh in relief.

Then the no password screen taunts me.  I begin to feel the emotions inside of me build up.  All those feelings and fears and unhappiness I had been trying to hide for so many years.

I think of tonight, everything has been going  so well but then it happened again.

I feel pushed around, duck taped and silenced every time it happens.  I know I'm overreacting but I know it's a problem.

"I'M TIRED OF BEING IGNORED!" I whisper shout into my pillow not wanting the others to hear my pleas.

If they could or if they would hear me they would think I was crazy, think I don't deserve what I have, think I'm just some stupid teenager like the stupid parenting book says.

I AM HUMAN TOO, I AM NOT A BOOK, I HAVE IDEAS, I AM JUST AD GOOD AS YOU!

I think think these thoughts among others before I sleep instead of praying to some god who can help us.

Am I selfish for thinking about myself?  Am I selfish for not caring about the others and just wanting to be me?
Am I truly selfish if know that the others sometimes don't always think right?

These lies and questions full my head until I can't take it and don't sleep and instead write.

In the morning I found myself warring a mask of sanity and happiness.