Yes, Ma'am

Rumour has it

Lord M's POV

The day after I awoke to find a letter.
I opened the crisp parchment envelope and inhaled the smell of stale paper. Old paper. This person was certainly not wealthy- not her Majesty then. Sliding the paper out of the envelope, I viewed the legible, yet far from eloquent script- they had attempted to make fanciful curls upon their letters, but were clearly out of the practice.

Prime Minister,

I, like many, am a faithful patriot and supporter of our monarchy and wish only the best upon our young Queen- Victoria.
It is with this in mind that, with all due respect, I would like to enquire as to the- seemingly over familiar - relationship you have with the Queen. I, among the masses, bear witness to the crude name calling Her Majesty receives. I am of course referring to the multiple 'Mrs Melbourne' incidents. You of course realise that her royal highness may never be Mrs Melbourne- do you not?
Yesterday I was informed of a scene that I should like to recount to you. My informant is very reliable and I beg your forgiveness if he is mistaken. In accordance with his tale, you and her Majesty were sighted together, the Queen in a state of undress and you in some disarray.
Can I be assured that this did not happen? Were I to leak this to the press it would be disastrous for both involved parties reputation. I am sure that you will sway my opinion- you know how it currently appears to me.
Yours Sincerely,
A supporter of the Crown.

Victoria's POV

I was awoken at a rather ungodly hour that morning by my chamber maid- apparently Lord M wishes to see me. Well, I can't be angry at Lord M for long.
I got dressed into my unembellished purple dress allowing Skerrit to tighten my corset around my slim waist. I was then informed that it was imperative I met him immediately. No time for hair arrangements then. Whatever could be so urgent? I quickly ran a brush through my long dark waves and ran to meet the Prime Minister.
He bowed curtly and proceeded to lead me by the arm to, I presumed, the drawing room. Motioning for me to sit, I did so and awaited something, for him to sit, the start of this pressing matter, I don't know really- anything.
He did sit; however, within 5 seconds he rose once more and began to pace.
And, as lovely as dear Lord M is, this began to drive me insane.
'Lord M, did you call me down at 4 in the morning just to present me with your skills at wearing down the floorboards?'
At this he stopped, took one final pace for good measure and addressed me.
'Your Majesty..'
'Lord M...' I responded, imitating is tone, equally grave.
'As you are aware our situation yesterday was not of particular... Um... Well we would not want to tell of our situation yesterday..'
'I know that Lord M!' I laughed.
'I have received a letter. Someone saw us.'
The situation suddenly darkened dramatically- this could have huge implications for my reign.
'Who... Saw us?'
'The letter is anonymous.' Came his curt response.
'What does he want? Money? He will only ask for more after... Or she. We can't rule out women.'
'That is what I thought, I do, however know, with some conviction, that he is of no background.'
'And .. How is that of relevance?..'
'Because I have a plan.'

Lord M's POV

I watched her dampened expression evaporate and her eyes begin to gleam at my brilliance- even if I do say so myself.
The plan was simple- we needed someone close to Victoria who was known for wanting a regency to claim that the man's tale was false. And we have the perfect candidate- Sir John. His incentive- blackmail.
Victoria's mother would surely not want a man who had an affair not only with one maid,  but six, a regular at a house of ill repute as well.
'There will be rumours of course, but none worse than those already out there.'
I appraise her as her brow furrows slightly in confusion.
'What rumours Lord M?' Her innocence and naïveté is overpowering to the point of being claustrophobic. I wriggle in my shirt, attempting to loosen my tight collar.
'Well, um, they believe that you and I are... Romantically attached, Ma'am'
'You mean..'
'They believe you to be my mistress...'
A silence instilled and I was more and more aware of my reddening ears. What would be her response? Would she push me away? How had she not been aware? She obviously knew about the 'Mrs. Melbourne' thing.. What if she acted rashly? What if she refused to see you again?
'Oh! Lord M, you do make me laugh! What matters that! You are so... flustered! It is not as if we are romantically entangled!'
'Ha! Yes, quite right your Majesty.' I giggled nervously for reasons unbeknownst to myself.
'Now, I trust that you shall carry out the plan devised... Will you escort me back to my bed chambers, Lord M?'
As she leant forward to take my arm her long hair caught in my button on my shirt. Immediately recoiling, she tugged and the loose button pinged of, half exposing my chest, this wasn't all though. Her tresses were still intertwined with more of the buttons on my shirt, due to her previous reaction. And, despite even more tugging, they would not come free. At least, this time, the door was closed.
'Ma'am, if I may suggest that we cut...'
I could barely form my words. Her Majesty's head was pressed against my bare chest. I never imagined this situation, well maybe, but... Are we really going to have to go back to this, Melbourne.. Society.. Focus..
'Cut!?..' Her arms flailed in fear, knotting the two of us closer together.
'Um..' But it was too late, her flailing had subsequently caused the shirt to tighten and as I pulled back to avoid her flying arms, it ripped.
Worse still, in my surprise I fell forward onto the Queen.
'Hello, Ma'am.'
Seemingly straining to keep her eyes on my face, it was Victoria's turn to blush profusely. Her petite form squished and our noses touching, she said:
'We really must stop doing this, Lord M.'