Guinevere (Book 1)

Chapter 3

In what feels like no time at all, we are ready for battle. For the past ten days, commanders and generals of our combined armies have been engrossed in meetings of strategy and battle plans. The was no doubt in anybody's mind that the enemy should be met on the field as soon as possible. Hopefully, we would catch them off guard, or at least in a position where they had not yet had the chance to increase their numbers.

I have not been permitted to attend these meetings; Father believed talk of battle and its violence may upset or disturb me. Although this has greatly frustrated me, being in the dark, I understood him wanting to protect me so I did not protest. Being on the outside of these meetings, I have been left to my own devices in the relative silence of the Keep. A hush has fallen over our home like nothing I have ever experienced; everyone is preoccupied with thoughts of fear and uncertainty. It's amazing how the Keep, usually such a hive of activity, could be so eerily quiet. The atmosphere is that of an intake of breath, the silence before the fall of the executioner's axe. And we wonder on which head it will fall.

The anxiety and fear are both justified after numbers of the enemy took us by surprise when we went to fight by ourselves. Even with Camelot's significant numbers added to our own, there is every chance it might still not be enough. Who knows how many more fighters the Saxons have bolstered their forces with since we retreated? None of this uneasiness is being helped with whisperings from the members of the Cameliard court, who are planning for that very outcome. There is talk of last-ditch defence tactics and ultimately the evacuation of the city, should the walls be breached. I know that it is only prudent to plan for all eventualities, no matter how grim, but it is not exactly helping morale in the Keep.

All we can do is pray and hope that the young King Arthur can lead us to victory. Based on what I've heard, if anyone can lead us through this to victory, he can. I have seen very little of him but all say he remains very calm and collected, yet sure when it comes to planning the battle ahead of us. He also has numerous contingency plans in place for all conceivable scenarios, which is admirable; a king who is confident but also wise. Overconfidence can lead to disastrous results. This is not his first battle and his skills in strategy and balanced decision-making are both the main reasons behind his past victories. Of course, he will be fighting alongside his men as well as coordinating the assault, and I am told, he is impressive in both regards.

Today marks the eve of our two armies marching from Cameliard and into battle. I am trying to conceal my growing nervousness about tomorrow; my face is a mask of smiles and courage, yet my hands are trembling as I walk through the Keep. My mind is in a constant spiral of 'what ifs'; what if we are outnumbered again? What if all of our forces get slaughtered in the battle to come? What if Cameliard is overrun before we can evacuate? And it's not just our men at stake, it's Camelot's too. What happens if they are wiped out along with our army? What then becomes of Camelot? Of us all?

These thoughts go around and around in my head and I don't know how to make them stop. Father and Arthur are both confident that our forces combined will defeat the enemy. I know I should feel as they do, but I just can't stop the nagging fear in the back of my mind.

My fingers clench in frustration, gripping tightly onto the dress I am carrying back to my chambers. Soon after the arrival of Camelot, I had an unusual impulse to have a gown made specifically for tomorrow's procession. The seamstress couldn't believe her eyes when I walked through her door. But after her initial shock, she agreed to tailor something to match what I had in mind. The gown I now clutch in my hands is a deep cherry red with gold embellishments lining the neckline and centre front seam, which are the only intricate parts in the design. Beneath is a layer of white linen to create contrast with these elements and to add warmth. Simple, but elegant and regal. A gown sporting Camelot's colours would show the unity between our two peoples and in such times, this would be a strong gesture of hope and faith in our allies.