twilight saga new moon as told by Edward cullen

PREFACE;

I just would have been dead at the second that news came to me if I were not a soul-less vampire who is the reason behind his own pain and misery.I felt like to be exploded not able to digest the news that the girl who's been the best thing that ever happened to me over a century is no more alive,and her precious soul which i wanted to protect from me more than my own life is no more in this world just that single thought alone made me want shred myself into pieces.

I went to them who think themselves as the protector of our breed with their own laws known as the-Volturi thinking that they only can give me what i need.They refused my own will to end my life knowing the value of my gift that I would be jewel on their collection.As I came away refusing to be a part of them on planning of lifting a bus which is barely fifty feet from me I thought of going for it and stopping in the mid by hearing a small school child's mind who is going to see his mother in a few more minutes.Then the realisation hit me that I can't do this   slaying dozens of innocent life just for my worthless one this is not what I learned from the man who I thought more than my own father in many ways.

Then i heard a tickling sound which showed me a way to show myself to this innocent people laying a way to end my life.It was noon and the clock is tickling its last stroke,I felt my hand release my shirt which dropped to the floor.My skin was just inches away from the sunlight I went down the step to the alley my eyes were closed when stepped down nearly into the light

when I heard those words "No!" scream of a angel "Edward look at me!" I saw her.