The Life and Times of Corey Black: Letters of a Troubled Brother

September 25th, 2016 [Introduction]

I just got the call today.

Fuck. It knocked the wind out me, Corey. All these years, I had a feeling. But I never thought it would actually happen. And things were going so well too; you were making a killing at school, and we were finally starting to get back where we used to be. But now it's different, it's all changed. My life has changed, now that you're gone. So much left unsaid, so many things left undone.

I can't help but blame myself, Corey. I mean, fuck. What did I do? What could I have done differently? I keep thinking about this shit constantly, and I can't help feeling like I'm the reason that this happened. I spent my whole life trying to be a role model to you, THAT'S  why I did it. I did it for you. I know it was so hard to understand that Corey, but that's the damn truth. I couldn't sleep at all last night, knowing you were in the situation that you were in. You needed someone, and more importantly, you needed me. And that's a thought that will haunt me until the day I die.

But anyways, I know you're probably worried about Mom. She's running around like a goddamn chicken with it's head cut off, but it's alright. She's not mad that you did it. She's just sad that she couldn't have seen this coming, and she's blaming herself like always. You know, the whole Mom thing. But how could any of us seen this coming? Like I said, things seemed to be going down the right path. I was so goddamned proud of you for making your way out of the shit heap, and actually making a name for yourself. But now all we can do is wonder what could have been.

You might be gone now Corey, but that doesn't mean I can't be here for you; which is why I'm writing you this letter, plus a mailbox-full more of them. I want to tell you the story of my side of our relationship, the side that you might not have heard too much about. I want you to know the story of how I learned what it meant to be a brother, through the shit and all. How at the time it might have seemed like it mattered, but in retrospect I hold near and dear to me knowing that you were a part of that memory. This is your story, Corey. And it's a story that I will never, ever forget.