beautiful disaster // j.s

twelve- unwrapped

One would think the rain had settled down but it was the complete opposite. The rain was pouring down with lightening right alongside, its companion. Thunder bolted and crashed down loudly making me gasp. I hated storms, they made so frightened by what god could send down to his children.

We sat there silently as my heart pounded and the storm made its way down to us. I don't know what was more devastating, this horrid storm or the fact the I had to sit through it with John. All I did know was that if John weren't here, I'd be crumbled into a ball, tearing apart. John, he made me somewhat feel safe but as I continued my thoughts, how safe can one feel in a place like this? Ever since iv'e had this feeling when John is near or if we're apart, I can't help but question everything. He made me question everything and it's not a good thing.

All that could be heard was our shallow breathing and shivering, along with the roar of this storm and the sound of the ignition key turning.

John turns the car off and hops out of the car. My eyes reflect the rain pouring on him, he's soaking already. I can't help but smile slightly, it catches his eyes, I look down in shame and let him proceed.

The car door opens, "It's not starting." He says bluntly. "There's a hotel down the street, we have to wait the storm out." He continues. The rhythm of his voice matches the rain, silent but loud enough, beautiful but cold.

He raises his eyebrows and I noticed that he was asking. I smile, then he smiles and offers a hand. I allow him to hold my hand, his are wet and cold but mine give him warmth.

"Thanks." I whisper under my breath and he just forms his lips into a perfect smile.

I grab his waist for balance, the gravel is wet and slippery but he manages to catch me, but I never doubted it.

We walked in silence till we reached the hotel, they gave the key to the only room available.

"I'm sorry." I say as we enter the room.

"I know you are... and god you are so stubborn you know?" He moves in closer to me.

He lifts my chin up with his thumb, our eyes meet for a minute and I know I can't do this, I break through his delicate touch to open a little light. The room is beautiful, it has rose petals on the white and light baby blue bed sheets but the rest of the room is empty. The light gives off some light, enough to see. John's sudden palm against my cheek makes me melt. His warmth tingles to me and all I want is to be in his arms, then what's stopping me?

"What are you scared of baby girl?" His words makes our eyes meet and the connection is authentic, "No one is watching." He hums. Such delicate words, such a delicate touch, then why am I afraid?

My mouth opens, the start of an amazing sentence but he catches on, without me saying the words, he knows what I want.

His hand strolls down my hair and to waist, his eyes peer into mine.

Both his hands meet my waist and butterflies rise at the pit of my stomach, he makes me want to breathe, he makes me need life as a friend rather than a foe. He licks his red lips and I shut my eyes. My hands wandered into his hair and his lips press to mine, we move in sync. He softly bites my lower lip, I moan through the kiss making me need more from him. I pull him closer, allowing the kiss to get heated. His lips travel to my neck and his arms squeeze my waist. His lips form a curve and his tongue wanders down my neck and below my earlobe.

I moan as my body feels his touch, every finger that lays on my body. I open my eyes as his hands tuck between my thighs.

I slightly push him away, my palm against his shoulder.

"John- you don't understand, I can't do this. We can't do this-" My breathe is trembling and my voice breaks.

"I'm scared, Iv'e never-" I stop but he approaches me.

"Aspen, stop." His hand cups my chin and he continues, "I'll never make you do something your not ready to do, just-just tell me when to stop." He whispers.

I nod, knowing I was safe as long as I was in his arms. His lips form a smirk, beautiful but dangerous.

His fingers dangle over my shoulder, I kneel my head and unbutton my cardigan and allow him to do the rest. His fingers delicately brush over my collarbone and to the buttons, slowly undoing them. He slips it off once its all unbuttoned.

His finger lightly brushes over my jaw and neck, but my eyes wander elsewhere. Hes hard, but it doesn't frighten me or make me look the other way. I began to smile and look back into his eyes.

I come closer to him, slightly tug him to the bed. Now, he sits on the foot of the bed. John's brown eyes close and open, his eyes stare at me for a while till I move in closer between his legs.

I put his hands on my waist as I undo my button to my jeans and the zipper. He looks the other way and instead he kisses my lips harshly, "I want you Aspen." His voice is raspy and it tickles just below my earlobe.

Before I can notice, I'm wrapped around his waist. My feet dangle at the other side, by his back. I squeeze harder so I feel all of him. I press my fingers to the hem of his shirt and take it off without another thought. He doesn't seem to mind, I brush my finger at his rib cage. There is a scar, light and faded but I see it. I don't ask because I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it. He grabs my hand in his and pins me to the bed. He is wedged in between my thighs and his hands unravel beauty, satisfaction and pure pleasure.

His lips travel to my hip bone as he delicately lies kisses, I can feel myself gain desperation. Few moans slip through my mouth, his focus was pleasing. "Can we uhm-" I didn't need to continue.

He smiles without a hint of disappointment. He comes back next to me, "Your so beautiful." He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. I smile as a response and grab his hands, intertwining them as we watch. He turns me to the other side, hands still in hand. My back is pressed to his chest, I can feel his crotch at the swell of my ass. I just smile and listen to his quiet breathing, knowing he was too indeed. I couldn't hear the rain let alone the thunder for quite some time, he kisses the back of my neck and I knew he noticed as well.