Zombie Maria

The girl

A hangman knot is hanging in front of me, swaying side to side, imagining my 'dead face' in the empty lope. What would I look like if I died, I wonder? I'm sure no one will miss me. They don't even acknowledge my existence. My 18 years of life is nothing but a bleak and dark history. There's nothing left for me now. So dying is not so bad.

As I just inserted my head in the knot, I heard a shuffle of leaves behind me. Oh crap, someone saw me! Why would someone enter this prohibited forest? I'm very sure no one followed me here.

I quickly turn my head to see whose there where the loop was already in my neck. And then, I saw a silhouette of a young girl with long black twin tail passes her waist. I can't see her that well but then, as she got nearer only that the smell intensifies. The smell of rotten fruits. The smell of-

Then the silhouette came into the moonlight, and her features came into focus . Her left eye were pale grey but for her right where an eye were supposed to be is a pitch black hole with blood coming out of it, her light pink blouse are in tattered, tainted with blood spots and mud. Her long black messy unkempt hair tangled in all directions. Both her hands are left with bones and a bit of rotten meat, while her bare legs still have a bit of flesh left aside from the bones, only that it is bloody and muddy. In an instant, I knew what she is. She's a-

"Zombiiiee!!" I shouted in fear and started to panic by climbing the hangman rope instead of kicking the big rock and hang myself to it, staying away from the ground, afraid that the zombie might want to grab my legs and turn me into one of them. But instead of wanting to eat me, she shouted.

"Suiciiidee!!!" she screamed, clasping both her bony hands onto her cheeks in a shock manner and started to run around, panicking too. Then, she hid behind a tree, watching me with a scared expression. I was stunned. Can zombie express their feelings?

"You- You can talk? What the hell...are you??" I asked, noticing that my voice shakes. Well obviously I'm shaking, it's a talking zombie!

"I- I'm a zombie who lives in this forest" she replied with a brittle voice. "As you can see, I'm already dead... sorry" she said while still hiding herself behind a tree. I climbed down from the rope and placed my leg back on the big rock beneath me. I almost stumbled due to my shaky legs, but I grip the rope tight before I 'accidently' kill myself. If I were to die, I want it to be by my own hand, voluntarily. Accident is too scary and sudden.

"But... but you talked. Are you seriously a zombie?"

"Yes" she said and pull out her head from her body high above "Although I was only twelve when I died" she continued while playing that attach-reattached game with her head. I gawped in astonishment. Unable to take away my eye from her while she passed her head side by side now.

"Wanna try catching my head?" she asked.

She can't be serious. This has to be a trick, it can't be real. Was it a special effect? Is there a camera out there somewhere? A prank perhaps? Trying to capture his vulnerable moment and spread it in the internet?

"Umm..." she murmured "What about you? Why are you trying to kill yourself?" she asked. Surprisingly, my shaking stopped. And I remember the reason why I came into the forbidden forest. I let out a gruff chuckle.

"It doesn't really concern you right? After all, there's no way someone whose already dead would understand the pain of a person who's still alive. I always hear voices in my head, saying there's no value in your life, you sinful piece of trash! So just die! Die! What are you waiting for? Go and kill yourself! And stuff like that" As I said it, I grip the rope around my neck tightly. One push is all I need to end this all. Ending the life of Alan Craig.

"I'm sick of it already. So just, you know, let me do my thing..." I said.

Then, when I faced her, hoping that she will go and leave me alone like what the others do. But what I saw is the opposite of what I expected. She cried.

"You IDIOT!" she shrieked and slapped so hard that my body flew upward and around the tree bark, choking me as I held on to the rope around my neck. Make sure I don't die while I'm still spinning around, and the force caused the tree bark to break, hitting my back hard on the ground with a loud 'thump!' and a painful grunt.

"I know that I'm dead and I don't understand your pain and stuff, but no matter what reason you have, dying is an absolute no-no. We should live, so that happy and fun times will come. To tell someone you love them, or to have an adventure around the world. If one fills their life with dreams and desires like this, then their life will be filled with flowers and beautiful bright light! Aah~ Life is a blessing! Thank you God!"

I untie the rope from my neck while she was prattle on all those nonsense, coughing and puking occasionally on the ground. She turned around gracefully with one leg, clutching her hands together like a zombie ballerina.

"So, don't die okay?"

"Are you trying to kill me!!?" I shouted.

She tilted her head with a questioning look. I hated this. I hate the fact that the reason I didn't die today is because of a creature that's already dead, trying to stop me from dying. And that doesn't even make any sense!

"I can't believe this" I muttered to myself and picked up the rope, hung it on my left shoulder and looked at her. "Now I don't even feel like dying thanks to you, you rotten zombie. I'm heading home for today" I said.

"Yaay~ so you've realize that you were wrong right? I'm so happy for you!"

"I said for today! And don't follow me!" I ended our conversation and stomp my way out of the forest. I didn't hear footsteps behind me as I walk away. Not that I care.

Maybe you're the one who should die

There. That voice. It's coming again. I don't know how long I can survive with this voice in my head. I squeezed the rope very hard until my knuckles turned white. If only that zombie didn't interfere, then I wouldn't hear this voice over and over again.

I got home and went into my room. Mom is probably sleeping in her room. Dad ran away a few years ago. Leaving me and mom in this tiny house, never coming back. In my room, I sat at the edge of my bed, clasping my ears hard as the whispers getting louder and louder, the throbbing getting stronger every passing night. I curl myself and gritted my teeth. Shaking.

Hey Alan, why aren't you dead yet? You should be dead by now.

"I don't... know. I wanted to, but that-"

How long are you going to keep on living? Are not ashamed of existing? You should die

"Stop...it hurts... "

Looks like even death don't want you. No one wants you not even your mom. Just die.

I snapped. That's it. I'm going to that forest tomorrow and I'm going to kill myself. And if that zombie girl ever tried to hinder me, I'll kill her too.