Love to Hate [1]

Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?

Song: Night Changes // One Direction

Nessa's POV

Everything was in chaos. Finn had tried to arrange a meeting between Clarke and the Grounder leader and it had gone horribly wrong, the Exodus ship had crashed unexplainably, and Murphy had come back, all within the span of a few hours. All the festivities of Unity Day were forgotten, and everyone was on high alert. This mess had one good thing come out of it though. I was too busy to dwell on what my sister had told me, or how Bellamy had acted last night. Especially what he had said when he thought I was out of earshot. 

"No I definitely don't think of you like Octavia."

That sentence just brought up a whole shitload of confusing feelings that I didn't have time to think about right now. So I buried it all - my sister's confession, my parents' real identities, Bellamy - and channeled my frustration into helping us prepare for the inevitable. War with the Grounders. A group had already gone to inspect the wreckage of the Exodus ship and found no signs of survivors. They had returned defeated, bereft of hope. Especially Clarke. Her mom had been on that ship. Wait, sorry, our mom. It felt weird. I had found out who my mom was and a day later she was dead. I didn't feel anything, though. Just annoyance. How much shit could the universe throw at me?

Murphy had come back while the others were away. Covered in blood, shaking, he looked terrible. But the worst were his eyes. They shown through the blood and dirt on his face and I could see the haunted, terrified look in them. The Grounders had gotten to him alright. And it must have been bad that he would have come back and risked getting killed by Bellamy. Octavia and I had brought him into the drop ship and four guys watched over him with guns, waiting for Bellamy to get back. 

"Where is he?" Bellamy demanded as he, Clarke, and Finn walked into the drop ship. They froze at the huddled form of Murphy, taking in his extensive injuries. "Everyone but Connor and Derek out," he commanded. When no one moved he shouted. "Now!" I assumed he also meant me and Octavia, and Octavia quickly exited, but I wasn't about to leave. Bellamy turned and saw me still standing there. He clenched his jaw but knew better than to argue with me. 

"He claims he was with the Grounders," Derek explained. 

"We caught him trying to sneak back into camp," Connor added. 

"I wasn't sneaking," Murphy said hoarsely. His voice was barely a mutter. "I was running from the Grounders."

"Did anyone see Grounders?" Bellamy asked. I looked at him in confusion. Did he think Murphy just inflicted all these injuries on himself for shits and giggles? Connor and Derek shook their heads. Bellamy nodded. "Well in that case." He pointed his gun at Murphy. Was he really just going to kill him like that? I know Murphy had done terrible things, but it looked like he gotten what he deserved and more. I stepped in front of the gun.

"No, Bellamy, you can't," I insisted, staring directly into his eyes. He looked surprised to see me defending Murphy, but he didn't move the gun. 

"Get out of the way, Nessa," he grunted. 

Finn stepped in and pushed the gun away. "What the hell is wrong with you man?" he asked.

"We were very clear what would happen if he came back," Bellamy said. 

"If he was with the Grounders then he knows things that can help us," Finn responded angrily. 

"Help us?" Bellamy's voice rose. "We hanged him, we banished him, and now we're gonna kill him. Get the hell out of my way, Nessa," he said again. I shook my head, crossing my arms, my face set. He was going to have to make me move.

"No," Clarke butt in. "Finn's right." She walked over and crouched down next to Murphy, inspecting his injuries.

"Like hell he is!" Bellamy shouted. "Clarke, think about Charlotte-"

"I am thinking about her," she responded sternly. "What happened to Charlotte was as much our fault as his." She turned back to his injuries. Inspecting his hand, she said, "He's not lying. His fingernails were torn off. They tortured him." I inhaled sharply. Even Murphy didn't deserve to be tortured at the hands of the Grounders. 

Finn turned to Bellamy. "You and the Grounders should compare notes," he spit. 

"Hey, knock it off." I spit back. I knew how much it had killed Bellamy to do that. "It's not like he enjoyed it. And you're alive because of him. The Grounders would do this for fun." Now both Finn and Bellamy looked surprised, this time because I was sticking up for Bellamy. He glanced at me and nodded in appreciation.

"The Grounders know we're at war," he continued to Finn. "What did you tell them about us?" He asked Murphy sharply. 

I would never forget how Murphy's voice sounded when he uttered the next word. The Grounders had broken him. "Everything," he whispered. Clarke, Finn, Bellamy and I all stared at each other. I saw my fear reflected in their faces. 

Clarke walked up to Bellamy and whispered so Murphy couldn't hear. "Once he's better, we figure out what he knows and then he's out of here. Okay?"

"What if he refuses to leave?" Bellamy asked. It was clear he was still angry. "What do we do with him then?"

Clarke turned back and stared at Murphy's broken form for a few seconds before responding. "Then we kill him." She walked out of the drop ship. Finn followed her.

"Well that was a little dramatic," I said. It broke the tension a little as Bellamy gave a small smile. He told Connor and Derek to keep watch over Murphy and then he and I left the drop ship.

"You're infuriating, you know that," Bellamy said as we walked through camp. 

I smiled innocently. "I thought that's what you liked best about me." He laughed. Our eyes met and I think we both remembered the events of Unity Day. I cleared my throat. "Well, I should probably eat something before we begin the interrogation," I offered, trying to be nonchalant.

"Yeah, I should go, uh, check the weapon stash. We need to be ready if the Grounders show up," he said. It was a lame excuse and we both knew it. We parted awkwardly. I headed towards my tent, lost in thought. I had gone from hating Bellamy Blake as much as you could hate someone, to respecting him, to hating him again, to understanding him, and now to being friends with him. Something I never would have predicted could happen. But, was it possible to feel something - more?