How I Feel About You (IchiJyushi)

In Love With My Brother

Chapter 1

Ichimatsu's POV:

I feel disgusted....

Liking my own brother made me hate myself even more. Everything about him doesn't let go off my mind. I have thoughts, dreams, and images of doing things to my innocent little brother, Jyushimatsu. I know it's incest and all, but I can't help feeling this way towards my own blood related twin. Trash like me should die by now. I wouldn't even stand a chance nor have an opportunity to really be with him. He'd probably think I'm a sick bastard for liking him more than the brotherly love kinda type. He wouldn't talk to me and would probably ignore me for the rest of his life.
  I slightly grumble to myself from frustration and sat up as I put both my hands to my head and pulled the strands of my hair together. Too much thinking made my head hurt. Every night it would lead me to stress over the likes of these feelings I have. Sometimes I would glance towards my other brothers to see if they were still asleep, which they usually were. Not much of a problem right? Heh. At night, I would cry myself to sleep, thinking of how disgusting I really am. Never having the chance. Just look at me....who would even date me?
As I let go of my hair, I winced, noticing that I have pulled too hard. It really didn't matter to me because I liked the pain and I deserved it too. Sighing, I looked over to the opposite side seeing Jyushi smiling in his sleep whilst snoring as well. I smiled a little seeing how cute he was when he's sleeping. 'Dammit, he's so cute...makes me want to kiss him...but no...I can't....I shouldn't like him like that...' I said in thought, furrowing my brows leaving a simple frown.
I quickly laid back down and turned to the side facing the wall sighing, not wanting to see Shittymatsu's face drooling. Soon enough, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. Having to suffer through the night about Jyushi in my head. Stupid feelings.....

💜💛The Next Day💛💜

"It's time to get up!!!!!!" Choromatsu was the first one to wake up. He was standing up and yelling at the others to wake up. Everyone groaned and was moving like worms, squirming around. I put a pillow on top of my head and moaned still having my eye closed shut. All the Matsus were tired but Choro, who just wanted everyone to suffer and get ready to start the day. "Fappymatsu, give us five more minutes of sleep..." Osomatsu murmured while grinning. Pulling the covers and not ready to get up just yet. "Easy for you to say!! Just get up and help make breakfast!" The other frowned being called by the nickname he hated. He huffed slightly and had his brows twitching.
Finally Oso gave up and sat as he rubbed his eyes while the others did the same. I slowly got up and yawned getting myself to wake up. What I didn't expect was Jyushi who was smiling real wide, got himself to stand up and tackle me towards the ground. My eyes widened, feeling quite startled. "Good morning nii san!!! Are you excited for today?!!" He asked in the sweetest, yet happy tone. I forgot that Jyushi had invited me to go to the cat cafe with him.
He's probably only doing this because I never go outside or even communicate much with him or the others. It's not like a date or some sort. I can always pretend without him knowing though. I sighed to myself. The only reason why I was going was because there is cats and we were going to be alone too. I averted my eyes and spoke out a 'yeah' and nothing else. He smiled and finally let go as he helped me out of the floor. "Thanks..." I said, walking to where the kitchen was. I saw Karamatsu and Todomatsu talking about how painful the other was, wearing ft hose gay sparkly glittery blue leggings and his tank top with his face on it. Really painful to see. The other two, Choromatsu and Osomatsu were arguing about how Osomatsu kept begging and asking if Choro would go to the pachinko and waste their money to see if they could actually win any money this time. Silly Oso. Choro didn't agree to this because he knew Oso was going to lose and waste money for nothing.
I walked to where my corner was and sat down seeing that my cats were coming up to me to pet and perhaps feed them as well. I also couldn't help but stare at Jyushi who was munching down on his food and laughing with the others in a hyperactive mood. It made my heart race. I looked away and clenched my hoodie to where my heart was beating.
"Ichimatsu nii san!!! Why don't you join us? I want nii san to sit next to me! Muscle muscle, hustle hustle!" Laughing and smiling at the same time, Jyushi waved his sleeves up and down and waited for me to come sit with him. 'Oh my god what should I do?!?! Walk and sit with him? Or not???? Ugh...' Panicking, I immediately said "No thank you...."
I bit my lower lip and continued to pet the cat feeling embarrassed to my own self. Why didn't I just say yes? I had the chance and I blew it. Stupid Ichi. From the corner of my eyes, I could tell that Jyushi was pouting then went back eating his breakfast. I sighed and stayed at the same spot I am sitting.

{{ I am sorry if I suck, this is my first time doing a Osomatsu san fanfic. But I am trying to make the story good! ;w; }}