Forever and Always - BoyxBoy -Complete-

33

Kean

What seemed like forever to me was just about more than an hour of ‘rest’ for the two of us, or at least Daniel managed to fall asleep after sipping his cup of chocolate and then laid on top of me, more like I placed him on top of me as he was about to fall on the floor earlier on, when I looked up the clock. I thought time itself was stretched out even longer than how it used to be back at the hospital. All I could think over there was on how can I make it last longer without worrying about the limit. It’s really true then, time is an ignorable factor once you’re with the one you love; that time is just a number people created to separate day from night.

He lets a quiet, cute snore every now and then, while I kept on petting his head gently. Running and tugging his hair at the back of his neck softly, his body was tossing and turning and a few sudden and abrupt gasps escape from his mouth. “Dan are you alright?” I looked up to him, assuming he had heard me only to get a hum in response. Is he wake? I checked his eyes and they were still tightly shut, only quivering. Nightmares? Possibly. I would have expect that from him ever since he woke up. There’s probably tons of questions that are running in his mind at the moment, questions like who he was, what were the things he liked the most, how was he at school, who were his friends, who’s his boyfriend (though he knows about it already, but he might still think he’s just as confused as before), and all those other stuff. His memories might be slowly going back in a flash and the pain he bears is excruciating. I should brace myself on what’s coming next in this weeks.

I’m still surprised on what he said to me earlier, like as if I’m still surprised after all what had happened this whole week round; first off was Daniel’s sudden familiarity towards me, second was Jake’s hasty resolution of leaving Daniel to me (which I still thought as a stupid and lame excuse for someone who has truly felt true love for a long time already.), and then there’s earlier. "K-Kean... I... I love you..." It still feels so unreal, a joke to my own point of view. Half of it was meant truly, half of it is I guess, insincere, untrue, implausible as jokes were always meant to be half meant, half not as the saying goes by. But it did seem so right after I let out mine. It did feel better, more expressive, an expression of one’s true state of mind.” I love you too Daniel.”Like I’ve got no other response to him, it came out like on it’s got a mind of its own. I deliberately let myself fall for his words, words that weren’t supposed to mine to hear, only by the person he has the most feelings. But, he did address it to me, it just meant that I am the person he has the most feelings at this time. I should be glad, not doubtful of those words. Those were his feelings that he wanted me to experience and he somehow let’s himself convey it the way he intended it to be.

My mind is still full of things that aren’t supposed to be inside it, things that are not my concerns but generally still have something to do with me. Taking Liam as my example, what would possibly happen to him? What is going to be his fate with his future relationships? I don’t know but I have my own fear, fear that he’ll be ending up somewhere abusive, getting hurt and probably do something that’s even worse than I thought. He can possibly bring himself to do it but once he’s snapped, who knows what could be running in his head. He’s too unpredictable and sometimes, unstable, making decisions without pondering upon them, without questioning himself if it’s the right thing to do or not. Impulsive and stupid enough not to realize what he had done had affected others.

That’s what happened why Daniel and Jake had this issues. I don’t blame Liam for being so desperate or something, he just needed somebody to be there for him most of the time, making him feel like he’s being loved, giving him an impression that he’s not being left out.

Another is that how Jake is being a jerk once more. I can’t get over it. I can’t help but think that he’s being too weak to handle this kind of situations. I won’t care so much about it, it’s just that… …. …. … … …. “Heh, too much clamouring inside your messy head now Kean, aren’t you? All you need to think about now is how you’re to make Daniel love you even more. That’s what matters most. Liam will always be there.” I snapped myself mentally out of my own complications, regaining my previous views on Daniel. That did really made me like a total idiot. That’s right, Liam will never leave me, and will always be there for me, just like how it used to be before and all I need to do is to protect him at the same time as Daniel.