JANE

A SHORT FICTION STORY BY THEO-ZINY JOEL
JANE
"Jane, I really am not sure if you know me. I started crushing on you ever since I got admitted into this school. Though it may sound difficult to believe, you are my first crush. I am in Love with you Jane. I am the anonymous guy who sends you weekend flowers. Will you go out on a date with me?”.These lines, I composed for Jane.  A day doesn’t go by which I don’t recite these lines. It’s glued to my head. It’s my Genesis 1 VS 1. It’s my anthem and pledge. Waiting for that right time to recite my lines toher “Did I just say ‘RIGHT TIME’?"Every day, I get the opportunity to walk up to her but I don’t always see it as the right time that’s because she’s an"ANTI BOLDNESS".Her smile back at you just makes you lose your confidence, You then become like a big cute watered eye puppy.

Jane was the most beautiful, brilliant and hottest girl in college. Unarguably, she’s every guy’s dream girl. OH her facial beauty, her face like that of a puzzle board. God perfectly fixed her eyes, nose and mouth in the right puzzle spaces.  When he said all things he has created were perfect, I am all percent sure he meant that for Jane.She had a melon shaped face (OH melon, I love melons) Her eyes feature reminds me of Beyonce(Beyonce my goddess of music). She has the most perfect suiting nose I had ever seen. Her LIPS! Oh! those looking soft aesthetic, bodacious lips, that can hypnotize any guy at mere staring. Jane’s body !Oh gezz, whenever I see her it usually pops up a Nigerian music artiste (WHIZKID) song lyrics:"I want your body sleeping in my bed"Mehn!!! He is dhem right. Her body feature like that of a cheerleader. OH, sorry she is a cheerleader. I was a little caught up in my fantasy. Now back to reality. I would steal my dad money just to watch her perform, most especially seeing her on those short mini sporting skirts, chanting the players name in ecstasy, but all I hear when she chant is my name being chanted out loud by her saying she loves me. Yea you can call me a psychopath, she made me so.
YEAH, I am going to read out the lines out today, not to my hearing alone but to whom it was composed for"Jane, I really am not sure if you know me. I started crushing on you ever since I got admitted into this school. Though it may sound difficult to believe, you are my first crush. I am in Love with you Jane. I am the anonymous guy who sends you weekend flowers. Will you go out on a date with me?" yea I felt today was the right time, after playing MR invincible for 2years 5months 3weeks 2days and 11hours 45minutes. I was dhem tensed, but nevertheless, a man’s gat to do what a man’s gat to do. I wore a blue shirt (read an article that said blue top attracts girls. So I am just playing by the rules), with a dark black Jean also applied some soft aromatic perfume. The team she supports plays today so I headed to the match venue.

The game had been postponed. I was so unhappy, and I was so ready to kill the bird. Disappointedly, I sat outside the court with my head facing down in dismay. Few minutes later, a soft sweet voice woke me saying hello. I had dozed. I lifted up my head, squeezing my eyes like one who just got sprayed with a pepper spray, was trying to see who it was. OH NO! It can’t be. I yelled that in a way only I heard, and it was so loud and resounding in my ears. It was the melon face, bodacious lips girl. It was JANE! I jumped up. She stood abreast of me.Oh Christ! My looks! I said to myself, because I know my waking looks are like that of a gorilla, all squeezed, vile and monstrous. I wasn’t expecting it to be this way, if this was a dream please God wake me up. Unfortunately it wasn’t, it was reality. The reality was too real, though I was prepared but I wasn’t prepared for the sudden aspect. There she was standing and starring at a gorilla looking me, with those poisonous anti boldness smile, and there I was looking like a big cute watered eye puppy. I had to be a man, this was the moment. I told her I came to see the game, and I was unaware of its postponement. She apologized, and there I was starring at her eye balls, they look like that of Jesus I see in frames, cool blue like the sea. “Though it may sound difficult to believe, you are my first crush; will you go out on a date with me? I am the anonymous guy who sends you weekend flowers. I started crushing on you ever since I got admitted into this school... I am in Love with you Jane. Jane, I really am not sure if you know me.” Who said that? myself asking myself, did I just say that?No I didn’t just say that, oh yea I did just say that. I mixed up my lines. I felt awkward. I wished rapture could take place instantly, I won’t mind where I go, though Hell looking the surest, but I don’t care I just want to disappear, I just want to drown, I just need an earthquake to happen. To my surprise, She then asked if I knew her place of residence, I gave the “I really am not sure" gesture, whereas I know her place more than I know my place. She gave me the address and said I should come pick her up the following day. She left. It was just too real to be a reality. If this was a dream God please turn it into an eternal sleep. On my way home, I bought a nice looking shirt and shoe for what was about to be the happiest day of my life.

I was all dressed up looking like a groom. I was walking not in a hurry to her place, taking foots measurement of the road. I was feeling very goosey and uneasy. It was 1,225steps to her house. I felt cold feet at the brim of ringing the bell, but I shelved it off. I rang the bell putting on a smile that wasn’t for me, a borrowed smile, so to speak. I was executing the smile I had seen a character used in charming his girl in a soap opera I watched. A woman in her mid 50’s opened; I was still on my smile not minding how it made me look. She welcomed me in, not even asking who I was, what or who I came to see. I thought to myself, Jane must have told them about me, which gave me a blush and triggered my pride and confidence. I walked in boldly, but to my astonishment I saw all men dressed up like me looking like grooms but what differentiated us was my smile and them looking all melancholy. "What’s going on here?" I thought to myself, saw women of young and old all in dark cloths consoling one another, I was mystified. Now my smiles gradually faded. Still In my mystification, I was balling my head around in search of Jane. She was the only one who could explain better. There she was staring at me wearing a full smile, she was beautiful. She was happy to see me. I fell on my knees at the sight of her, I was trembling. I could recognize some of the flowers around her; they were the roses I always send her for weekends. I couldn’t see her legs, she wasn’t saying anything, no view of her fingers, and I sat on the floor trying to bring myself back to reality. She was in a picture frame, she no longer exist in the real world. She is now a citizen of the picture world and fantasy world. Jane was gone.

It was a long walk home. Jane was hit by a drunken truck driver after our conversation at the court yesterday. I blame myself for her death. If I hadn’t stayed back at the court, our conversation wouldn’t have taken place and she would have earlier passed the scene of the accident.Her death was evitable. It was my entire fault. She deserves life and not death. She was every guys dream girl, not excluding death. Death fell in love with her and took her away.