Breakeven

Prologue

Devi

"I won, babe" he said and kissed my cheeks, i don't know pero i felt uncontented parang 'di siya sincere, parang may mangyayaring 'di maganda

"It's your first time to win soccer over me, babe" i replied at hinalikan ko din siya sa cheeks

"Okay if you say so" then he laugh, but you can see in his eyes na malungkot siya, parang mata ng may problema

"Are you alright, babe?" I asked.

"Yeah of course." He replied smiling but it didn't reached his eyes "Our deal is... whoever wins have the rights to wish anything"

"Yeah so what's your wish?" I said smiling.

Ba't gan'on parang 'di siya masaya? Tss

"I want...."

"What?" Nakakunot noong tanong ko.

"Us..." tinaas ko ang dalawang kilay ko na parang naghihintay ng susunod niyang sasabihin.

"To break up" Tumungo siya. i laugh, pero ang totoo parang huminto ang mundo ko. Hindi siya makatingin sa'kin, wtf is happening?

"Are you nuts? You're not funny"

"Devi i'm serious"

"You gotta be kidding me."

"I'm not kidding Devi!" He shouted.

"I'm telling you once again, don't play a joke"

"SERYOSO KO DEVI! AYOKO NA, I'M TIRED, I'M DEAD SERIOUS, pagod na ako" hindi siya masyadong nagtatagalog kaya nagulat ako he's mother's American.

"May you say your wish once again?" Nagulat siya. Kahit ako nagulat sinabi ko, kaya ko siyang palayain pero 'di ko alam kung anong magiging buhay ko after that.

"W-What?"

" Say your wish once again" i said seriously. Hindi ko na kaya, ayoko siyang masakal. Kailangan ko 'tong gawin. Ang hirap pigilan ng luha peste.

It took a second bago siya nag-angat ng ulo at tumingin sa'kin.

"I-i-i w-want u-us to b-b-b-break u-u-up" he stuttered.

"You won so your wish is my command" i said smiling. "I'm breaking up with you, tapos na tayo." And tears starts to fall down on my eyes.

Hinawakan niya ko sa braso and said, "s-s-sorry D-Devi" then i ran, i'm hurting i can't handle this tears, ayokong umiyak sa harap niya.

Nakarating ako sa kotse ko at sumakay, f*ck that moment.

I can feel my heart beating like shit.

I can feel it crushing like hammered rock.

Hindi parin napro-process ng utak ko 'yung mga nangyari.

He just wished for it?!

Sana 'di nalang kami naglaro.

Kung alam ko lang sana 'di na ko pumayag sa deal niya.

'Nung isang ka pa eh, pansin ko na tss pero pinalampas ko.

Ang tanga ko pucha.

F*ck that.

Naalala ko 'yung poem na ginawa niya para sakanya inirecord ko 'yon using my voice so that i can listen to it, ginawa niya 'to habang nanliligaw pa sa'kin.

"Dev, i know i'm a coward before because year had passed before i confessed my feelings to you, i just really don'f have the guts to say it, infront of you, i'm afraid of being rejected.

People's always like that afraid of getting rejected because it hurts like fuck and you'll suffer like hell.

I never assumed you to allow with me courting you, but now i'm so happy because you allowed me to.

Things will always change, it's inevitable like jumping from the third floor of your house and die. But always remember i would never make you suffer because of break ups, i would never let you cry alone jn your room with turn off lights until 3AM.

I would never be the reason why you love sad songs.

I would never be the reason why you say bitter quotes.

I won't try but i promised.

I'm going to love you unconditionally and willingly.

I will always wait until you love me like i love you.

Ilove---"

pinatay ko na 'yung audio dahil 'di na ako makahinga kakaiyak, ayoko ng makarinig ng kasinungalingan.

you will love me unconditionally and willingly but why am i suffering and feeling this now?

People will always break their promises after saying it.

They're just making promises because they want us to assume.

I look awful right now, for sure.

Why is he like that for heaven's sake!

Nagsasawa na siya? Pagod na siya? Ayaw niya na? May mahal na siyang iba?

Lahat ng luha ko inilabas ko na pero parang andito parin 'yung sakit.

I don't know where to go i'm f*cking messed up.

Nanlalabo na ang paningin ko, wala na akong makita, kakaiyak.

Pinapalaya na kita.

I'm not brave enough to ask your reasons i can't say any single word because if i did baka hindi ko kayanin biglang bumagsak ang mga luha ko.

Hindi ako mahina, you know it

That's why i don't have the guts of asking you because i might cry like a f*cking baby and collapse like dead.

Tulo ng tulo ang luha ko hanggang sa wala na akong makita.

At ang nakakabinging tunog ang narinig ko.

*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*

Mahal na mahal na mahal kita Da----

*CRASHHHHHH*