Forgotten (A Niall Horan Fan Fiction)

Chapter 16

Charlie's Pov

As I made my way back to my room I thought about them. Not them meaning a person, them meaning my battle wounds, my battle scars. I haven't gotten any for awhile, I been clean for 3 months. They have been fading slowly, I don't know if I want them to.

I shut my door, sat on my bed and rolled up my sleeves. The thin white lines were still there. One after the other. Each one has its own story, its own reason. But I'm not going to tell you each. I'll start with my first.

Flashback*

My father was screaming at my mother, like usual. Now before you get the wrong idea, my dad wasn't a horrible person like you are thinking. He was a nice guy, well liked, sweet to my siblings and I. But he was hot headed. A bomb waiting to explode. He said things he didn't mean to cause pain, we all do that stop lying to yourself.

"Come on Charlie lets go in my room." My brother Ryan said dragging my sister and brother and I into his bedroom and shut the door. The screaming was muffled now. Ryan was the oldest, he had to be less scared for the rest of us. John is second, he had a bit of a fuse too. You had to be careful with him. My sister Casey is tough, she never really showed any emotion. But she isn't what you are thinking either, Casey loves to laugh and have fun so don't think shes always serious cause she isn't.

And then you get to me. I am the most emotional of the four of us. Hearing them scream kills me. I sat on my brothers bed, my hands covering my ears, tears streaming down my cheeks. My siblings came and sat with me. Telling me it was going to be okay but I knew that it was never going to be. My parents could fight all night, sometimes they did. When that happened Ryan, John, Casey, and I all slept together in Ryan's bed.

You may be asking yourself, then how did this lead to cutting yourself?

In the midst of this huge fight in the middle of the night, while I lay awake listening to this and my brothers and sister are sound asleep. My name was brought up.

"And Charlie! What about her? Shes so fucking dumb compared to the rest of them! Shes obviously just like you Carol! Shes a fucking idiot and I can't stand it!" My father hissed. tears welled up in my eyes.

Of course I'm not fucking good enough to be in this fucking family.

I hate it.

I hate my life.

I hate myself.

"Don't you ever say that about her!" my mom screamed.

"Why? Shes always been the fucking problem, WHY DON'T WE JUST PUT HER UP FOR ADOPTION OR SOME SHIT BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING STAND HER." He shot back.

I crawled out of bed and got to the bathroom. the reflection in the mirror taunting me, I hate it. My fist collided with the mirror shattering it. My hand was covered in blood but I don't give a fuck. I screamed as loud as I could, I needed to.

I heard my mothers footsteps running up the stairs I quickly locked the door.

"Charlie." She pleaded.

I found the blade in a shoebox in the bathroom and pressed it against my skin. It hurt a lot.

I deserve this.

My body deserves this for being such a fuck up.

Tears fell onto my arm. The mixture of blood and tears dripped into the sink.

"That was for not being good enough." I croaked, my voice hoarse.

"Charlie come on honey." She cried again.

I wanted to again, but I never had the guts to press the blade onto my skin again.

I didn't bother to rinse the blood, or cover the cut. I just curled up on the bathroom floor, and fell asleep to the sound of my name being called over and over.

"Charlie."

*End of Flashback*

My fingers traced the lines on my skin. Over and over again. I recited the ending to one of my favorite poems.

"That's why on the back of a brown paper bag

he tried another poem

And he called it 'Absolutely Nothing'

Because that's what it was really all about

And he gave himself an A

and a slash on each damned wrist

And he hung it on the bathroom door

because this time he didn't think

he could reach the kitchen."

My phone vibrated in my back pocket but I ignored it. I laid back on my bed and stared at the ceiling, reading the words I scrawled there about him.

My phone continued to vibrate and I continued to ignore it. My eyelids drooped down as I fell asleep. With that vivid memory, of my first time, and the screams still piercing through my body from my family, as they picked my body up off the floor to bandage the cut, and that cut after everything, felt so right.

__________________________

Hiiiii

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Hope you like it!!!!

Xxjackie