Roommates with Secrets (BoyxBoy)

No 10- "Promise?".."Promise"

Keegan's POV

I left the supermarket with one bag full of sour worms for the beast and the other full of stuff we actually need to survive. We can't just live of junk food, which is a shame. 

I was heading back into the campus when I was stopped by one of Alex's friend, I think it was Austin, I couldn't quite remember. "Hey Keegan" He spoke sternly. I stopped and turned to face him. 

"Ah hey?" my response came out more as a question. "Last night at the party, you and Alex kissed" he stopped. Oh shit where is this going. I remember the kiss and his soft lips. 

"Look I just want to know, is Alex gay because he seemed to enjoy it, and I want him to know that I will not be friends with any homo's or else" his face grew dark sudden, making me shiver in the one spot I stood. 

"A-ah no his not gay Austin, his straight as a ruler, plus he-he was d-drunk so he didn't know what he was doing" I kept stuttering, wasn't my fault me he made me a nervous wreck. 

"Mmhmm what ever, see ya around Keeglan" he miss pronounced my name. "Its K-keegan actually" I quickly snipped, he turned around and stared at me. "What?" He snapped jeez anger problems much. "N-nothing" I started to head back to my dorm room. 

I finally made it back to my dorm room and Alex was laying in his bed, he didn't look to happy until we met eyes. He smiled instantly. "Keegan!" he jumped up and headed over to me. I handed him his bag with his took excitedly and started looking through. 

I entered the kitchen and started putting the shopping away into the fridge and cupboard. I need to tell him about Austin, I need to warn him. I quietly walk over to to where we slept and I saw the cutest image ever. 

Alex was pulling a face from the sour worms and starting laughing and mumbling about how sour they were. He hair was flopping over his eyes, he was a cute mess. And now I have to ruin it. 

"H-hey Alex" I said softly and kinda in a sad way. "Yep?" he shoved more lollies in his mouth. I sat on my bed facing Alex's.

"I was stopped by Austin on my way back and the conversation didn't go to well" I looked down at my hands but I could feel Alex's eyes burning holes into me. "What did he say?" he already doesn't sound happy. 

"Umm well he said about the kiss and how you looked like you enjoyed it and basically asked if you were gay, and he said that he doesn't want to be friends with no homo." I met Alex's gaze and he didn't seemed to happy. His face was tense and he's eye's grew dark. 

"What did you say back?" He's voice was deep, I could tell he was angry. I didn't blame him though. "I umm said you weren't gay and you were to drunk to remember anything" I gulped, my hands were shaking a bit. 

"He wont find out, you got it?" I nodded in agreement. I don't want to poke the stick at the bear anymore. 

"Well seemed as were talking about this type of stuff, I wanna do something" he got up from his bed and walk over to mine. He sat beside me side ways and motioned me to sit facing him on the bed. 

I watched his face tense as he reached for my arms. My pulse started to pick up slightly, what was he doing? "Um Alex wha-" I was cut off mid sentence. "Shhh" he shushed me quickly.

He grab my right arm and started to lift my sleeve. Oh no please no. I tried to retract my arm but his grip was to strong. He lifted the sleeve fully and started to do the same to the other. Now he was just staring at my pale, skinny and scarred arms.

 I looked down in shame, not wanting to speak. He started to reach in his pocket for something. 

In his hands were my blades. All five of them. I started to shake slightly. He's gonna think I'm a freak like everyone else does. 

He dropped them onto the bed and caught my gaze again. His eyes looked sad and slightly disappointed. 

"How long?" was all he said but I got what he meant. He needs to know, even after 2 and a half days of knowing each other he might as well know. 

"3 years" I whispered softly.I could fill tears pricking my eyes, old emotions swelling back in. This can't be happening, not now.

"Why Keegan, why hurt your self?" maybe he does really care, no one else ever did. Seeing him around school, he never showed that he cared about me or anyone so why now.

I took a deep breath before replying. "B-because I-i hate myself, life is miserable and I was bullied my whole life. Every day I was beaten and bullied by everyone at school and by my own parents." I felt tears slipped down my cheeks. 

His emotion dropped when I mentioned my parents. "I thought you said you liked your parents" I laughed "I lied because you were saying how you love your parents, I didn't want to the odd one for once so I lied" I continued.

"I had to live my life being pushed around by everyone and no one ever stopped to think maybe they should stop. Everyday I was told to kill myself, that no one would miss me. Everything got worse when Haley took her own life Alex. Haley was my best friend, she killed her self because of the same reasons. Life is shit." the tears didn't stop, they fell onto my arms.  

What I said next I think It frighten Alex A bit. "I want to be with Haley Alex" Alex's eyes widen, he started shaking his head repeatedly. 

"Keegan, you can't be serious, You're not going to throw your life away just like that" his voice started cracking. I shook my head, I didn't agree with him.

"I don't want to be here anymore Alex" there was no going back, all of my emotions, tears started coming out. I felt Alex lean forward and wrapped his arms around my waist. 

"Don't leave me Keegan. You need to stay strong okay, promise me you wont cut again?" He's plead 

I didn't respond I was full on crying into his shirt that was now stained with tears. He leaned back and cupped my face softly.

 "Promise me Keegan, that you won't hurt your self" he stopped again. His hands were warm and soft. It was making me feel tired. 

"Promise?" I nodded softly and whispered back. "Promise" he smiled softly and leaned forward and kissed my head sweetly. He grabbed my hand and with the other he picked up my blades and leaded me into the bathroom. 

I watched as he dropped my blades into the toilet and motioned for me to flush it. I didn't want to though, It felt as they were apart of me it felt wrong to do it but I wanted Alex to be happy for the night. 

So thats what I did. I flushed the blades down which earned me a smile and a hug from Alex. 

Maybe I could be saved after all.