All on My Own

Part 1

If I close my eyes, I can see him.

"What if he were here right now?" my brain wonders, wandering into the depths of my imagination.

My eyes close, and I can feel his arm around my shoulder, my head resting on his, his hand in mine as I play with his fingers.  I look up, his glowing, toffee brown eyes draw me in, and I wonder what he could possibly see in me.  When he laughs, for a moment his eyes close, and I see his long, dark eyelashes, the slight shadows under his eyes from getting less sleep than he should have, his dark brown hair falling in waves towards his left eye, and all I can think about is how beautiful he is.  He's incredible.  He's everything. My eyes drop down towards his lips, and since his eyes close, even for just a second, I have no shame in staring.  They look so soft, so pink, and my brain unhelpfully supplies that I should kiss him.  Maybe I should.  Maybe I shouldn't.  Ah damn, I must have been staring for just a second too long, and he caught me.  He has this gentle little smile on his face, oh wow our faces are really close, and he starts leaning towards me slowly, closing his eyes.  My heart skips a beat, my brain stops processing, and right as I feel his lips brush mine, my eyes open.

He isn't here now.

In fact, he's on the other side of the world.