Heart Ponderings

What Would Happen?

I see you in the distance, and for a split second my heart skips a beat.
When I see your bright smile my mind plays a symphony similar to the ones you play for fun on the piano you think so fondly of.
But then,
Knock, knock!
Wake up!
Hello!
Welcome back to reality!
The fantasy playing in my mind is now a fading memory,
Because now in its place is the recognition, realization, remembrance that I am not the cause of your smile.
I simply exist.

But what would happen if I was?
Would I truly be satisfied?
If I could place my hand where your heart lies and feel it beat rapidly for me?
What would happen if you really loved me?
Would my soul still yearn to belong to you?
Would I even be able to achieve the standards you must have for your future love-to-be?

Do I now?
Or must I stay torturing myself with seeing you everyday and not being able to claim you as my own?
Constantly, consistently, continually hiding behind the facade of the platonic friendship we've developed.

It's not complete suffering.
Honestly, I enjoy my time with you,
When you play and I sing,
When you play and I listen,
When you play and I am in awe of your fingers on the keys of the piano.
But at times its painful to see you smile at your phone when she replies,
And see your fingers move from the keys of the piano on to the keys of your phone,
And see you type furiously to respond to her,
And see your conversation continue for a very long time,
And--I get lost in the whirlwind of longing to be with you even if I'm sitting right next to you.

To think that we've only met about a month ago and we're acting like we've been friends for years.
I've grown accustomed to the melodies of the medleys you create on ivory.
Just a few short weeks and I'm already hooked.

If I could tell you all of this now, could you answer me?
Could you tell me, what would happen?
Probably nothing.
At least, nothing for me.
Your life wouldn't change any,
But mine? Mine would be left with something a little stronger than the dull ache that exists now.

So tell me, what's it gonna take?
What's it gonna take for these raging emotions to subside?
What's it gonna take for these feelings I have for you to die?
What would happen if they don't?