We All Scream

|4|

Josh stops by his brother and sister's school to pick them up and walk them home. Once he walks in, he sees his mom sitting on the couch. The blue he was able to hold at bay forces itself in. He wishes Tyler was there.

"Go to your room," he says quietly to his siblings. They obey.

"Josh," his mom says. He can tell just from the word that she's high. Usually no one is home when he gets home from school.

"Hey, mom."

"How was school?" She smiles.

He rolls his eyes. He knows she doesn't care. She's probably in a "I'm trying to be a real mom" mood. He starts to walk to his room.

"Josh, come back. I'm talking to you." Josh cringes at the autumn-blue-maroon in her voice. It reminds him of the brakes on the bicycle he had when he was five.

"I'm not talking to you," he snaps. He opens his door, feeling too many emotions taking over. He really wishes Tyler is there. Being able to name the emotions always made them seem smaller.

But he knows he'd just be embarrassed. He doesn't want Tyler to see his mom. And what if his dad comes home? What would Josh do then?

Tyler belongs in the forest, with escape. He doesn't belong here.

"Josh, come talk to me-"

"Shut up." He slams the door.

He throws his backpack on his bed and walks to the window. He opens it and immediately jumps out. He starts running.

Tyler is waiting. He's sitting cross-legged under the tree where the treehouse used to be. Josh tries to compose himself before Tyler sees him. Then he feels fake, like a loud yellow.

Tyler turns around when he hears Josh walking. He smiles. Josh smiles too, hoping Tyler can't see the loud yellow. He drops down next to him, the leaves rustling beneath him.

"Hey," Tyler says.

"Hey." Josh tries to put enough pink in his voice.

"You hide a lot," Tyler comments.

"What do you mean?"

"You never tell me about you. Like how you're feeling. I guess I shouldn't expect that. I... I know things are hard. But I just think... since we... you know... that we... um..." He trails off. Josh sees a little blush in his cheeks.

"Well you noticed."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

There's a short, awkward silence before Tyler speaks again. "What I mean is, tell me stuff if you want to. I'm not going to judge you. You know more about my life than I do about yours and... I don't know. Sorry I brought it up."

Josh wants to say something to make Tyler feel better, but he doesn't want to make it seem like he'll tell Tyler everything.

He doesn't tell anyone anything. Never.

"S***." Tyler puts his head in his hands. "Sorry I said anything. Forget it, okay?"

"Okay," Josh says quietly. He doesn't want Tyler to feel bad, but he doesn't know what to do.

Tyler looks away from Josh.

They sit in silence. Josh doesn't know what to say. He wants to say something.

Ten minutes pass as Tyler rips leaves apart and Josh plays with his lighter.

"You ever wonder why nothing is the right color?" Josh says finally.