We All Scream

|6|

Josh hasn't gone to school in a week. He hasn't left the house in a week.

As it turns out, his mom was in the house, hiding in the closet the whole time.

He hates her. He hates his dad. Jordan comes to sleep in his room every night. Josh can't leave the house. He can't leave Jordan alone.

They left Abigail outside because they didn't know what to do. She was found, and a police officer came to deliver the news. Once he left, their dad blamed Josh for leaving her, for not getting her medical attention, for taking her away from her family. Josh fought back, screaming that his dad was the one who killed her.

His dad nearly killed him.

Josh pulls the long sleeves of his shirt over his hands. It still hurts to move.

Abigail is a mix between not-quite-blacker-than-black and empty-white. That should mean she's grey. She's not. She's nowhere near grey, and Josh is confused.

The colors lied. They don't work. They're not real. Nothing is real.

The blue-black is real.

No, Josh yells at himself. Fear and pain are real! Colors are fake! F***ing fake!

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Josh turns to his window. Tyler's face is there. Josh gets up, wincing as he does because of his sprained ankle, and opens the window.

Tyler climbs in and immediately hugs Josh. Josh hugs him back, trying to hide how much pain it causes him.

"Are you alright? I haven't seen you in a week." Tyler looks extremely concerned as Josh closes the window.

"I'm fine. You shouldn't have come--I mean--you didn't need to come. You didn't need to come." Josh turns away, fists gripping the seams of his sleeves.

"I was worried about you."

"You don't need to worry about me. I'm fine."

"I can tell something is wrong. You hid it better a week ago." Tyler's tone of voice changes. It sounds more...

Not a color. Not a color.

Josh can't place it.

"My sister wasn't f***ing dead a week ago!" Still facing away from Tyler, Josh puts his head against his wall. He is not going to cry.

Tyler stands in shocked silence for a few seconds. "Josh..."

"Don't say anything," Josh snaps, keeping his eyes shut. "I don't want to see you again."

He can hear Tyler's heart break. Good.

He hears Tyler move closer, then feels his arms around his waist. Josh cringes from the pain.

"What's wrong?"

Josh can't talk or even move. He just breathes.

"Josh."

"Leave."

"Josh-"

"Leave."

"Josh, I-"

Josh shoves him away. "Leave me alone!"

Tyler stumbles backward and lands on the bed. Josh didn't think he pushed him that hard.

I'm just like my dad.

Josh leans his back against the wall, ignoring the bruises screaming at him.

"Josh..." Tyler whispers.

Josh opens his eyes to see the boy. There's a mixture of... fear, pain, concern, and something else. "You know what? I don't care anymore." Josh grabs the bottom of his shirt and yanks it over his head. He throws it to the ground. He watches Tyler's eyes take everything in. All the bruises, the burn marks, the wrong colors. Now Tyler can see everything.

Tyler starts crying. He sobs into his hands as Josh stands on the other side of the room with his heart broken.

After what seems like forever, Tyler looks up. "Give me the lighter," he orders.

"The last time you had the lighter, you burned the treehouse down."

"I can't let you do this to yourself."

"The bruises aren't me. That's my dad," Josh explains.

"But you burned yourself?"

"Yes," Josh mumbles.

"Give me the lighter."

Josh hands him the lighter. Tyler breathes a sigh of relief, pocketing it.

"The colors are fake," Josh tells him.

"What?"

"They don't make sense."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean they lie! They're useless!" Josh yells.

Tyler takes an involuntary step back, making Josh regret yelling. Just another thing to regret.

"You can leave now." Josh grabs his shirt from the floor and starts to put it back on. Tyler isn't moving.

"I mean it, Tyler. I don't want to see you anymore."

Tyler starts singing, which surprises Josh. "Now, the night is coming to an end. Oooh. The sun will rise and we will try again. Oooh. Stay alive, stay alive for me." He starts crying again, his face twisting in pain as tears dripped down his cheeks.

"You have to go," Josh whispers.

"Okay." Tyler steps toward the window. "Just..." He stares at the ground. "Don't kill yourself, okay?"

"As long as you don't."

"Promise me." Tyler whips around. "Promise me you won't kill yourself." His eyes hold an intensity Josh has never seen before.

"Okay."

"Say it, Josh."

"I promise I won't kill myself."

"Thank you," Tyler says quietly. Then he turns and opens the window. Josh watches him climb out.

Josh's chest just feels tighter. A color comes to mind, but he ignores it.

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