"Adrian?" Mrs.Perk calls out. "Hmm" I answer, obviously oblivious to what's happening around me. "Hun, we already started working in the groups." She stared me down as I looked for the right words to say. "Uh... ya... I'm working by myself " I give her a disappointed smile. She gives me the "pity" smile.
I really don't understand why she says my name out loud for the whole class to hear when her and I both know I work by myself for all these things. Maybe she says it in hope other teens would realize I'm alone and decide to join me. I think her and I both have something in common. Hope. I always have a bit of hope someone would want to work with me, but it never happens. I use to ask people if I can work with them... let's just say there is no words that could speak louder than their facial expressions.
We use to do these things in her room where you would write agree or disagree for the saying. There was one that I'll never forget. It was "if your lonely it's your fault". I put disagree by it knowing that you can't just decide to be accepted... they have to accept you. Well, everyone else put agree and most reasons were about like this, "it's your choice if you try". I don't think that people that are acceptable see the same as the unacceptable people.
There is stereotypes and groups that just about everyone fits in. I'm pretty sure I fit in none. I don't hate fitting in none, I just know that there is no person in my school that I'm like. When I get comfortable around people I'll be very upbeat. The reason everyone thinks I'm shy at school is because I don't feel comfortable with anyone there. If you go to a school near my school you know people think our school is snobby and they kind of are.
*beeeeeeppppp* Everyone hears the bell and instantly sprang to their feet. I look around in the halls to find a familiar friendly face in the long amount of time we have in between classes, needing to talk.
"Boo!" Raina try's to scare me. Not surprised by her burst of energy, I give her room to walk by me to our next class. "OMG! I have so much gossip to spill. It's a dope amount of info my friend." She says. "Okay... tell, tell." I say back like I do everyday. There's always something new happening with her. It never gets old listening to her talk. She is the friend that if I hangout with her outside school, I will have confidence.
"Okay. Soooo, Maddy decided to..." blah blah. A bunch of info that isn't important ... or is it. Then the good info came... "So... your crush is officially not tied down" she smiled like she didn't just rant. I squealed a little like the girls around the boys. "Omg. Do you think he likes me?" I asked with my usual hope.
"You want honesty or your dream?" Raina says. "I'll go with honesty" I say even though I know what the answer will be. "Probably not. Adrian, no guy will like you if you don't put yourself out there a little. Don't wait to get comfortable with them. You need to show your personality from the beginning." She says nodding her head. I could tell she was proud about what she said.
Ethan... my crush. He isn't considered one of the popular kids, but he is pretty well known in our school. He is really really funny. We use to be elementary friends or I guess kindergarten friends. I'm not saying he was funny in elementary, but he is funny now.
Ethan use to walk up to me and try to make me smile. He would put his hands on my face and lift my cheeks up to try and create a smile. I'm pretty sure I looked completely ridiculous, but I don't think he cared. He use to do things like this when I was in junior high and we didn't really talk anymore. Ethan would see me and just come up to me without being nervous or awkward at all and just try and make me smile.
I would always be stubborn and pout while he would pull my cheeks up and anyone that saw my face would probably say it looked hideous. I'm not sure if he would notice, but my cheeks would heat up and I knew they were red. He never pointed it out though even though he would always point other things out. When he did these things he was just being himself... it wasn't flirting no matter how much I wished it was.
Only rain aka Raina knows that I have a crush on him. I refuse to tell anyone else.
"Hey Rain" I say looking over at her. "Yeah?" She says calming down from the excitement. "Considering it is senior year and I won't really have to deal with my embarrassment next year... I think I'm gonna try." I say confidence in my voice even though I'm already regretting what I'm saying. "I'll hold that against you the rest of this year". She gives me an evil smirk and we go our separate ways.
Oh great. What have I done. I know Raina won't forget what I said. This will be a long year.
AUTHORS NOTE
Sorry if this was a sucky beginning to a book! I never write and thought I would give it a try:) Please comment ideas of who the guy should be for a visual image. Things like Channing Tatum or some other popular guy I should put images of for the beginning of the chapter:) I hope you liked this first chapter and follow me! This chapter was short since it is the first but I plan to make other chapters way longer! I probably didn't do good on grammar, commas, or any of that stuff so please no bothering me about it. Thanks!
