Acadia

Admitition

*DISCLAIMER*
This is a true story of my time in a mental hospital called Acadia, I'll change the names of the other people that were there to protect who they really are. This story could trigger some people so read at your own risk.

    My name is Tabatha Gabrielle Perry, (that is my real name btw) I was born 11/23/99. And I haven't had the easiest life but I haven't have the hardest either. I was born in a small town in the middle of Texas; now I'm not going to go into great detail about my life but I'll give you a bit of a background so you can maybe see what led me to my current situation.
   I currently have nine siblings but up until about a couple of months ago I had 7 and I was the youngest. When I was about 3 my parents got a divorce and my dad went to Acadia himself for the same reason I went, suicidal thoughts and actions. Around the time I was five my brother Timothy had been shot and killed. That's when I started getting suicidal thoughts. I got bullied a lot in elementary school but it started to get really bad in middle school. And it never helped that I would get bullied all day and come home to and emotionless mother and abusive step father.
   During my 7th grade year I was taken out of public school and put in an online school. I lost all contact with my friends and mostly stayed in my room for about two years. My mother worked three jobs and my step father worked two so they were never home and my other siblings had got fed up with the abuse and went to live with my dad. With no outlet I turned to cutting and other forms of self harm.
   I had a boyfriend named miles who I dreamed would stay with me forever but he soon committed suicide. I tried to reach out to my parents for help because I started to get very depressed but they just sent me to church and while that may help many people it didn't help me because I was an atheist, so I never felt like I belonged.
   When I was 14 I became involved with an 18yr old boy who went to the same church as well everything was great until he didn't know how to take no for an answer and the relationship soon became toxic. Often he would leave bruises but it never mattered because no one cared enough to notice.
   Until I met one boy as a freshmen in high school I was about to turn 15 and this boy helped me build up the courage to break up with my boyfriend. And in that I fell for him. We stayed together for a year and a half. The longest relationship I've ever had but I had to end it because it got to the point to where he changed me so much that I wasn't even me anymore. What friends I had started to make he wouldn't let me hang out with and I over all became depressed again and attempted suicide a couple of times.
   After I left him I fell for a girl. I never wanted to bother her with my problems though. By this time it was the summer before junior year started. My ex (the one I had stayed with for a year and a half) had said some rather harsh things to me and memories took over my mind and I once again tried to attempt suicide. My step father had left my mother for another woman and my mom got a boyfriend with kids. It just so happened that my new brother Tyler found me after I swallowed a bunch of pills and made me throw them back up in order to save my life. Somehow my ex had found out about this attempt and told my girlfriend at the time and she dumped me once she found out. Heart broken and filled with self hatred I tried to move on and just forget about it.
   Then a boy I use to have a crush on my freshmen year returned in my life and we gave it a shot. It was like heaven. I've never been happier with someone but he didn't feel the same after I gave him my heart he said he was depressed and that I couldn't do anything. He broke up with me and I never felt so alone.
   Now that you have a bit of back ground I'll get to the point to where I broke down. The day after he broke up with me I woke up that morning and dragged myself out of bed I grabbed my glasses and got dressed for school. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes at went out side to smoke before school. My mind was flooded with thoughts of him and how I wasn't good enough and how I wish he would love me like I loved him. I couldn't help but cry and cry and cry. Once I pulled myself together I grabbed my stuff and went to school. Once I got to first period I put my head down and my friend asked if I was okay and my heart dropped. I instantly got up and asked to go to the counselor on my way there I cried hysterically and once I got in she asked me what was going on and I just broke down and told her everything. I told her I wanted to die so she called my dad and told him to take me to Betty hardwick (it's a place for the mentally ill which I already go there but she wanted me to talk to my doctor there) so my dad picked me up and took me there but they told us that she wouldn't be in until Friday so my dad took me to the er. That was around 11 and they took me through all the routine questions and I ended up staying there until 3 just for them to tell me they are putting me in Acadia.
   Once all the paper work was transferred to Acadia my dad took me there and we waited in the waiting room for most of the day. I met a boy in the waiting room. He was about the same age as me (15-17) his name is Jason.  Jason is a tall, white boy with black curly hair that goes to his shoulders. His smile was genuine and his laugh made it sound like there was nothing wrong with him.
   Around 9 at night I was finally admitted to Acadia. A nurse showed me down the hall and into the room with the pods. I walked past the littles pods and the boys and went through a door over to the girls pod. A chair was out and the nurse told me to sit so I did. That nurse soon left and another male nurse appeared. He was wearing all blue about average height with a widows peak for a hairline, white with glasses and a bit sheepish. He ask me why I was there and some other follow up questions. After answering all the questions I asked him is I could call him LBB standing for little boy blue. He laughed at the sound of that and said sure. Then he asked a tech named Mrs. W to do a skin search with him. Mrs. W is a black woman in her 50's with a sad expression and pain in her eyes. Average height for a woman. So she showed me to the restroom with LBB and she asked me to strip so I did as I was told and LBB started to mark on a chart that had a body on it and he would draw on the body where I had scars on my body from self harm. They told me I could put my clothes back on so I did so and sat back in the chair I was originally in. Sandra, a black girl that is 15 and about 5'6 asked me to be her best friend. I told her sure and she smiled a bright smile before Mrs. W yelled at her and told her to go back in the pod. Sandra rolled her eyes and walked back to the pod.
   Mrs. W told me to follow her and I did as she asked and she took me to a room inside the pod. Inside the room there was two twin sized beds two cubbies for your stuff to go in and a desk near the window. Mrs. W told me to make the bed on the left and gave me sheets and a blanket to do so. After I got done she said "I'm sure you've had a long day and it's lights out anyway so get some sleep" I nodded my head and crawled into the bed.
   I laid there staring at the white ceiling and images of the day flooded my thoughts and I began to tear up but before I really started to cry I talked myself out of crying on the first night. After the long day I had I decided to go to sleep so I did just that.

* I will do my best to add a new chapter everyday. Hopefully you'll like my story or it will help you in some way. If you ever need anything message me I'm always here. You're never alone and you are loved. Stay strong xx - Perry *