Chapter 1
Airport
The smell of Cinnabon's is in the air. I look around. A man in a black suit is touching his lips looking confused. A young man with very white skin and spiky black hair looks around with wide eyes. I keep looking at him. He has a long neck, not such a good attribute.
An Asian couple walks by. She is dressed well. Some loud man on his cell phone is complaining about his delayed flight. A woman sits and knits a blanket. I sit, I watch, I listen.
I used to love airports as a child. I would be so excited when I got there. So many people going somewhere exotic. Well I thought they were going someplace exotic. Going to my Auntie P's in Wisconsin wasn't very exciting but I figured it was far away from here and that was all that mattered. Here is Midland Texas, the arm pit of the world. It's where I was born, where I grew up and where I desperately wanted to leave.
The pre-boarding announcement over the PA system is loud and disturbs my thoughts. I am so tired. Tired of running, of hiding this stupid body. I try to blend in with others. My small suitcase is new. I get a new one every three weeks. It's important that I don't look like I travel all the time.
A worn bag is too obvious and I don't want to be obvious. I want to blend in. I look at the knitting lady, and the well dressed Asian lady, even the loud talker stands out to me. I try not to look at anyone in the eye. That, I learned, starts conversations. I keep my eyes down, hidden, yet I still look around.
There is soft harmonica music playing. My eyes grow heavy. Still 45 min. Before my plane takes off. I doze for about 10 min. It's all I need for the moment. I exchange a quick glance with a good looking bald guy. He has been working on his computer for some time. He gets up and leaves. A large man with his large wife takes his place.
Finally they call boarding for my flight. I am wearing dark glasses. I hand over my ticket and the counter lady stares at me. This is not unusual for me which is why I try to blend in. I suppose you would wonder why I would wear sun glasses all the time and wouldn't that in itself attract attention? I am sure it does but I have no choice in the matter.
My eyes are extremely sensitive to light. If I didn't wear glasses you would see my green eyes. You would see my abnormally large pupils that fill my eyes during the day. At night they look more
normal which is why I try to travel mostly at night. Today was an exception. I had to leave fast and I had to leave during the day to do it. I have to say I feel a little funny writing down my thoughts. It's so extremely dangerous, but so am I so what does that matter.
I saw these blank books at the newsstand and thought it might be therapeutic to put pen to my thoughts. Because therapy is something I totally need. OK that was a joke. If I were to tell a therapist about my life it would not end well. So here I write. I must say it does pass the time.
As I settle down in my seat I hear a very loud boy repetitively shouting things behind me. Why can't young kids talk lower? So repetitive, it's driving me and everyone else crazy. Probably his parents too.
Maybe if I took my glasses off he would scream himself to sleep. I guess that would be worse. No sleeping on this flight with the screaming boy. I will just have to write more...
