"I don't even know this new you! Why are you going to run when I haven't even gotten a chance to tell you I'm sorry," he hesitated then continued. "And that I never stopped loving you." I looked down my tears blending in with the rain. "You can't do...
Certain days can leave you breathless. Certain things can leave you grasping on to the normal. The only question is, will it be a good or bad situation? Or, what will you make of it? I was drowning, the waves were to thick, and I couldn't breathe. When I got the call my world was thrown for a loop, I had one thing on my mind. The drive to the hospital that would normally take me around fifteen minutes in the traffic of Los Angles, took me five. Julie met me outside and explained everything that was happening. My heart went out to her and Mary Kate, neither of them should have to start this up again. Over the month and a half that I had been gone since the last time I saw her she had been discharged free of cancer. The tumor was gone. When they found out they facetimed me about it, we had a little celebration over the phone. Up until I turned my phone off for those few days I had talked to her everyday, but then I didn't. Julie's voice when I answered the phone let me know immediately that something was wrong and while I hoped for the best, when I got there things were worse. "Elliot!" Julie cried as she rushed into my arms a tear floating down her face. "What happened? What's wrong? Is she okay?" I questioned frantically my anxiety coming out. "She's stable and awake." Was all she said at first, but I knew there was more to it then that. "What else? Why is she back here?" Julie let out a sob before answering. "It's back, and it's everywhere." She mumbled. "What's back?" I knew what the answer was but I didn't want to believe it. I wouldn't believe it, maybe all of this was a dream and I just hadn't woken up yet. Who am I kidding. "The cancer. It's everywhere." She mumbled hoarsely. "But they can fix her right? She'll be back to normal before we know it. Right?" I had tears threatening to come down my face. Julie was now crying, hard, shaking her head. "No, there's too much, they, they, can't save her this time." I've described this feeling before, the numbness that you feel when all you can feel is the emotions inside of you. The breathlessness of it all, the feeling of all hope, just, gone. I didn't cry, I couldn't, I just sat there for a few minutes, outside of Mary's room, hugging her mother, motionless. "How much time do we have?" My voice was barely there, Im sure if I wasn't as close to Julie as I was she would not have heard me. "They g-gave us till the end of the night, that's their estimated time for her." I didn't say anything, I just got up wiped my face, and entered the room. There she was, the tubes were back in he nose and the IV in her arm. She was pale and laying there watching her favorite movie. This was the last time she would watch a movie. A swell of tears burned my eyes but I cast them away. "Baby cakes." She turned to me slowly, you could tell she was in pain. The bags under her eyes were greenish purple and she wheezed with every move. But she was still beautiful, she was like the little sister that I always wanted. "Ellibear." Her voice was small and laced with pain. As she said this her eyes began to water. I ran over and sat beside her in the bed as I always did, and put my arm around her. "Baby, please don't cry. You're going to be okay. It's all going to be okay." She whimpers in my arm and I kiss her head. "Im scared Elliot. I don't want to leave, I don't want to say goodbye." A few tears floated down my cheeks. "You don't have to, let's just say it's a see you later. MK my sweet girl, you don't have to be scared, im going to be right here holding your hand through everything okay?" She nodded into my chest. "I love you Elli." "I love you too Mary Kate. Now let's make the best of this okay, we'll watch this movie and if you are hungry we can send someone to get you whatever you want." Hold back the tears, keep the mask on, don't let your breaking heart show. Julie entered the room with a small smile and sat next to us. "My sweet girls. Both so beautiful." Because of how close Mary and I had gotten Julie looked at me as her other daughter and I looked at her as a mom too. Since my mom was so far away she was always there. I knew that when the time came we would help each other through it all. "Mommy?" MK asked after a few minutes. "Yes sweetheart?" "Can you get me my sweatshirt im cold." She nodded and grabbed the Digi Tour sweatshirt I had given Mary. Once she was all situated, we began to watch the movie on the screen, it was her favorite, even if it was a little old for her age and I guess I knew why. The Fault in Our Stars gave her hope, even if the ending was sad she could grasp on to the fact that there is always a chance to break free. I hadn't cried about this movie since the first time I had seen it but now, I let a tear go down my face. Not because of Gus, but I let a tear slip for the 10 year old girl sitting in bed almost asleep next to me. She would never be kissed. She would never fall in love. She would never get to go to prom or out with a boy. She would never get to walk down the isle. Julie watched silently too, holding her baby's hand while silently cry with the movie. "Ellibear and mommy don't leave me." "Not in a billion years," I said. "Never. " Julie whispered after me. "Im sleepy, can I sleep?" Her eyes were already closed. The doctor had explained this would start to happen as her body started to shut down. I wasn't ready, I never would be, but who was I to not let her go in peace. I looked to Julie and a few tears trickled down my face. "Yes honey we'll be here still when you wake up." "I love you mommy." Mary said as she started to sink more and more into sleep. "I love you more." "Ellibear?" She asked sleepily. "Huh?" Was all I could say. "I love you, thank you for being my sissy." More tears came out of my eyes. "I love you to Baby Cakes, it was an honor to be your sister." She smiled as she fell asleep peacefully. I fell asleep after a while too only to be startled awake an hour and a half later due to the heart monitor. No, no, no! Not yet im not ready for her to go! The nurses and doctors were in in a matter of seconds, pushing Julie out of the room as there started to try to save her. I was drowning, the waves were to thick and I couldn't breathe. With each shock I knew I was beginning to break. I needed someone that understood what it's like to go through this. Typing his number was hard enough, talking was worse. He was on his way, and she was barely holding on. I can't, I can't do this. I was drowning, the waves were to thick and I couldn't breathe. The charges had stopped and the doctor was talking. The faint beeps of the heart monitor were off. I sunk to my knees in the middle of that hospital hallway and let go. Faintly I could hear Julie moving into the room where her daughter lay cold and unmoving, sobbing into a doctor's chest. Also I could faintly feel someone wrap their arms around me and bringing me to their chest. But the only thing clear I could hear was the sound of my heart being ripped apart, all the way. The only thing I could feel was the scream coming from my mouth and the pain that was all over my body. It wasn't supposed to be like this, she was supposed to get to live. It's not fair. The scream stopped but the pounding in my ears and the sons that raked my body didn't. I was drowning, the waves were to thick, and I couldn't breathe.
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////////////////////////////////////////////// 1451 words Longer chapter that I cried writing... Next chapter coming soon. -Taylor💋 Ending Countdown: 3 chapters
