"zayn, i'm pregnant." ♡ z.p.

chapter fifteen: struggle, debate, and pleads

*Perrie's POV*

After much struggle, debate, and pleads, I convinced Jade to take me home so I can tell hung over Zayn my decision. She had to come in with me and scope out the place first. Most of the glass had been swept to the side, but the furniture was still a mess.

Once she left, I walked all over the house looking for Zayn. He was really, really drunk last night so I assume he's suffering from a major hangover. I found him at the kitchen counter, slowly sipping a mug of coffee. He was wearing the same clothes from last night, minus the leather jacket.

"Hey," Zayn practically whispered. "Where did you sleep last night?''

"You don't remember anything from last night?'' I said in my normal voice, causing Zayn to flinch.

"Not after leaving the bar, no." He was whispering even lower now.

I sat on the stool opposing to him, my swollen feet tired from standing for so long. "Why did you go to the bar?''

Zayn furrowed his eyebrows together, as if he were thinking of his answer. "I don't know. I think it was just me and Niall. Assuming from my state now, I must've gotten hammered."

"Why do you think all that glass is on the floor?" I raised my voice a little bit, but this time Zayn didn't flinch.

"I did that?''

"You did everything, Zayn. You came home and tore everything up and you were calling me the worst of names. I was scared of you." I explain, the memories of last night coming back to me.

Zayn's facial features softened. "Oh Perrie, I'm so sorry..." He reached for my hand that was on the coffee table but I pulled it back.

"I want to put the baby up for adoption." I said abruptly.

Zayn gives me a confused look. "W-what?''

"Zayn, I'm still scared of you. I can't take any chances. What if you came in like that with a newborn in the next room? I don't want to spend my night locked in the toilet again with a crying baby. And I can't tell you to stop drinking. You're young, famous, and not pregnant. You do what you must. But we can't have this baby." I say shakily. My mind was made up, definitely, but it still felt unreal to say out loud.

Zayn's face reminded me of a scared puppy. "P-Perrie, I said I was sorry. I'm not going to do it again; I don't know what happened to me last night. Please, let's not give him or her up."

"Saying it and actually doing it are two different things." I said sternly. I knew he wanted some sort of sympathy, but my fear of him took over the small sympathy I had.

Zayn seemed to be getting angry, and my confidence of standing up to him was shrinking. "Why are you acting like this? I have only come home like that once. Don't let one mistake effect our whole future."

"I can't Zayn, I just can't with you. I've tried, my whole night I tried so hard to see the brighter side of things. But last night is going to change everything, and I hope you can understand where I'm coming from."

Zayn held his face in his hands, as if he were already tired of this conversation. "You are ruining everything." He sighed.

Oh, this son of a bitch has it coming to him now.

"I'M RUINING EVERYTHING?! Uh, hello?! I'm not the one coming home and smashing all of our stuff and calling you a 'Fat Pregnant Bitch'. Oh my fucking god Zayn, all you ever do is worry about yourself."

Zayn stood up from his seat, a sign that a big screaming match was about to happen.

"Are you kidding me? All I ever do is worry about myself? Those two weeks I was gone were hell. All I did there was worry about you. Actually, anyone but myself really. I care so much about you, goddammit! I thought after three years together you would know that!"

I stood up in front of him, even though I really didn't want to. I wanted to go back to bed, actually. Being heavily pregnant just takes so much of my energy.

"I thought I did, really. I thought after you proposed and I got pregnant that we were perfect. And we WERE perfect. And even if it was just one night, I can't trust you the same way again. I still have that image of last night in my head. And even if I were to forgive you, let's say, that's not going to stop you from getting wasted ever again. I know without a doubt in my mind that something like this is going to happen again, and I don't want our little boy or girl to have to live through it. My mind is set Zayn, and the least you can do is..."

I felt myself getting light-headed as I spoke, and I placed a hand on my forehead.

"The least you can do is... is..." I tried to speak, but I forgot what I had to say.

"Perrie? Perrie, are you okay?'' Was the last thing I head before I felt myself fall.