Deep

Truly... Pain

When i was younger i wanted to be a astronont; When i was younger i wanted to be a U.S military; When i was young i wanted to be a cop; When i got older i wanted to be dead. 

I grew up in a small town and im still growing actually, but i was born in a big town in Florida i was so happy and peaceful with all my family there besides my Dads part of the family.. It was usaully like my Moms side. My mom and Dad met in Florida. But then i got to the age of 9 we had to move to Colorado, because he found a job there and he rodeos a lot. I wasen't much closer to him as my mom. Im much more closer to my mom but when i got the age six i moved to Texas in a small town. 

The small town wasent much only lke 3,000 people but it was like in 2006 but i went to school there and now im growing up in it.... At least im trying. Now its 2016 and the population is almost 5,000. 

As i grew up the town got shittier and shittier. Im a Freshman in HIghschool, waiting for something good to happen to me. The society sucks.. straight sucks.. and it gotten so bad over the past fucking generation and generation. The world is still fucking ugly and it just keeps getting worse. 

All the pain ive been through and people been through.. People are sick to one another, people are sick in general. People are crazy, crazy people don't know there crazy and somethings made them that way that they cant explain it. Schools are different and know people are totally different becouse know one knows how to stop it. At least people have tried. 

People judge all the time, about how mentaly disabled they are or if they poor or there not atractive. Some people are mean, and like i said... their getting meaner over the years. And know ones gonna stop them. Some people are scared of life becouse how reality is and its treating them like a peice of shit and they cant do anything but stare at a wall surrounded by there own thoughts in a dark place thinking what a shame they are becouse of how people treat them. Its just reality and the society mixed together and how the socaiety treats them. 

People are stressed and suffering and sometimes people just got to understand that. If u look at a person a judge them and you dont even know who they are... You dont even fucking know them and thier backstory because a ones Family member died... One suffering from Depression. People dont understand differnt some people are just different.  

i just dont understand how a world can be so ugly? I ask the same goddamn questions in my head everyday. Becouse i guess im strong enough to face this evilness and this firery pit of hell around me and to face society. Maby so...