letters for bunny.

hurts

This part is for Alex

He stuck a cigarette in his mouth.
"You look so perfect honestly" I said quietly.
"You look like a better piece of me" he spoke into the clouds.
"Can you get me a ring?"
"why do you want a ring?"
"I wanna make sure I belong to you"
"you know this is not possible"

"i do"
"let's get some food or some stuff"
I looked down to the street while I walked.
My mum always told me I should keep my head up.
'It looks more confident'
I never did.

The car was filled with those hazy clouds.
The lights of the night reflected in the emptyness of this place.
The old car stopped in front of the abandon seeming gas station.
He stepped out.
I stayed inside.
He looked through the glass from outside, tried to make me come out.
He breathed against the cold, dirty glass.
His finger drew a heart.
I opened the door and stepped outside as well.
"what's wrong?"
"ah nothing"
He pulled me closer while we walked into the gas station.

He went to the cigartettes.
He liked them, but he liked other stuff more.
I made my way up to the alcohol.
My fingers ran over the glass that separated the forbidden liquid from my skin, my blood. My needy body.
I took it out.
"come with me love"
I put the bottle next to the cigartettes.
His eyes asked me if I was sure.
His fingers were sure I was.

I opened the bottle.
A bottle to myself.
Took a sip.
Another sip.
And another one.
He licked the liqour off my lips.
The liqour on your lips makes you dangerous.

My small, with color spread all over, finger placed itself on the radio.
Is there somwhere?

I laid my head on my heart shaped pillow.
My little teddy bear pushed on my heart.
Next to me my true love.
Liqour.
Liqour never left me.
When everyone did.