This is Not What I Had Planned || Joshler [Completed]

16: Never

✮Tyler's POV✮

"I was with Brendon." I tried to hide how upset I was but couldn't. I felt like I was going to puke.

"Oh."

"But it was nothing. He was just apologizing again. After he told me that he loved me-"

"He what?!" Josh went silent. "When did he say that?"

"When I saw him at the store a few weeks ago."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't think it mattered."

"You didn't think that Brendon being in love with you mattered?" I could feel myself on the verge of tears but pushed them away. I was too angry to cry. "I deserve to know if my boyfriend's ex is still in love with him."

"There's nothing to be worried about with Brendon. I could never love someone like him. The things he did were too terrible to ignore." My heart shattered at his words.

If Josh could never love Brendon because of the things he did, how could he love me? Brendon and I weren't very different. We were both terrible to other people that we knew we could take advantage of.

Josh could never love me.

"What's wrong? Shouldn't that make you happy?" I looked up at him and bit my lip as a tear escaped. His expression changed from sadness to confusion. "Why are you crying?"

"I used to be like Brendon," I said. My voice cracked in a low whisper.

"What do you mean?"

"I-I was a bully just like h-im. I did terrible things j-just like he did." More tears escaped. Josh's expression softened.

"That's not what I meant, Tyler. You know that I love you." His voice was soft and soothing but I still hurt.

"But, h-how c-can you? You said yours-self that you could never ig-nore the things he did!" I wiped away at my eyes furiously. Everything hurt. Josh held me by my shoulders but I couldn't look at him.

"Tyler, you know that I love you. It's different with him."

"How c-an it be different?" He didn't answer right away and I looked up at him.

"I- It just is," he said.

Aurora meow'd loudly as she scurried into the room. She jumped onto the bed and into my arms. I smiled slightly as she licked my tears.

"Josh, look me in the eyes and tell me that Brendon means nothing to you."

"Tyler-"

"Do it." He placed a hand on my cheek and lifted my face to look at him. He wiped away a remaining tear before kissing my forehead. He pulled back and looked into my eyes.

"Brendon Urie means nothing to me." A wave of relief overtook me. "Never doubt that. Ever. I love you and only you." He pulled my face to his and connected our lips.

Kissing Josh felt like my favorite song. It felt like coming home early from school. It felt like late nights at camp. It felt like scoring the winning basket. It felt like watching the stars from my roof.

He pulled away and gave me one last peck on my cheek. Aurora whined and pawed at my chest.

"It's okay. Your dads aren't fighting. Everything  is okay, Aurora." I scooped her into my arms and nuzzled her. She purred sweetly in my ear.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied about seeing Brendon. I just didn't want you to get upset." I scoffed and Josh sighed. "Yea. I see now that it was really stupid."

"It sure was." I let Aurora go and she jumped off of the bed. I watched her trot into the hallway. Josh slid into his spot next to me in bed  

"I know," he said. He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. I rolled onto my side to look at him.

My stupid boyfriend. My love.

"I'm gonna get ready for bed," I said. Josh hummed in response and I got up.

I went to the bathroom and heard Aurora follow me. I turned on the sink and she hopped onto the toilet. I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I was drying my face with a towel when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I hung the towel back up and turned to face Josh. He had taken his shirt off. I traced his skin lightly with my fingers.

"Why do you stick with me?" Josh asked. "I don't deserve you."

"The same reason that you stick with me."

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A/N
Did this suck?
Any and all feedback is highly appreciated my dudes.
Also, I'm open to any messages with suggestions, requests, or just anything in general.
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