Broken Girl

In Memory of Him

What's good guys? No? Okay. I am so glad to be back! A breathe of fresh air, and an outlet can do a lot to inspire me, believe it or not. So let's go, onward men.

Chapter 1: In Memory of Him

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Ino Hyuuga

I'm sitting on the staircase, waiting for someone to come down the stairs so that we can go on our dinner date, but he doesn't come. Then I realize that he doesn't ever come. 

I bend my head down and wrap my arms around my knees, rocking slightly as I remember the last time I saw my love, and I remember how I hadn't realized that I hadn't noticed how many drinks he had had before saying he was going for a drive, or how I was so happy that he would be gone so I could take a shower in peace, and how that same night I had got a call from the hospital just as I was starting to worry, and realizing that I would never see Shika again. 

I still remember how he had barged into the bridesmaid room on our wedding day, asking how many more minutes was he going to die of boredom before he could officially call me his. How he had looked at me during he reception, not even needing to say a word, me understanding everything.

 Still remembering the raw emotions I had neglected to see as he looked into my eyes after kissing my forehead and saying goodbye, me just thinking he was being silly. Me not knowing until five hours after he left that he had swerved off of a bridge and into the rocky pits of a small canyon.

 I remember not recognizing my own husband on the hospital bed as he looked like a mummy, that he died thirty minutes after I had come in to see him, me talking to him in whispers crying silently and then hearing that slow heartbeat come to a stop as he flatlined in my arms, as the nurses crashed into the room and dragging me away as I stared helplessly at my love.

 I remember that we had a open... no a closed casket.

 I remember how everyone pityed me, how I pitied me, and how I should have not fallen in love so quickly with someone as unreliable as him, but they didn't understand, and they still don't understand. 

I cry silently, the flatline ringing through my head, bouncing off the sides of my skull, of my soul tormenting me over and over......."Ino?" I snap my head up looking only to see my ten year old sister, Hanabi. 

I quickly wipe my tears and smile weakly at her,"how's the pollen collecting bumblebee?" I call her my little bumblebee, and she calls me her big tulip, it's just our thing that we do.

 "It's clumping up in your petals, what's wrong is it about Shika again?" She asks her eyes round with concern. "No, stop prying!" I snap at her, getting defensive.

 She just looks at me the same, and starts to walk up the stairs, as I start to back up. She runs up them and then catches me in her sweet little arms, and I rest my forehead on her small shoulders, my whole body going limp, and I stare blankly over her shoulder, my eyes slowly getting wetter and more blurry. Believe it or not, this is a normal accurance for the both of us.

 I feel horrible for needing her when she needs me much more, and I know that she is the best little sister. I silently promise her that I will become a older sister that she can depend on, one day, in the near future. I grab her in a bear hug, lifting her up off her feet, as I stand up and stretch my arms out smiling at her as she giggles being cute. 

I start to laugh with her, closing my eyes, relishing in this fleeting feeling of happiness that rarely happens anymore, unless I'm with her. 

I set her down, heading down the stairs to the kitchen, Hanabi following me step for step. I make us some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and pull out a stool for her, picking her up and setting her in the seat passing her a sandwich before taking my seat. And taking a huge bite out of the sandwich, cringing at the taste of too much jelly, looking over at Hanabi and seeing that she was happily eating it. 

Of course she would like it, she was still a kid after all. 

We finish our sandwiches and I take our plates and start to wash them in the sink, putting in the stopper, when the door slams open, Hinata leaning against the wall as she stumbles to where I am, clearly drunk.

 "Bumblebee, be a dear and go up to your room and go to bed for me please." I give the order and I hear her small feet pattering up the stairs until her door softly closes with a click. I take out the stopper and wipe the excess on my jeans looking at her sternly. She thinks that since she doesn't have to marry rich that she can go clubbing every night with her friends. "Hey ino, you look better than usual, did you get laid?" She slurred and started giggled. I stare at her shocked, my Hinata is never like this, it's only when she is drunk, but she has never said any thing this rude before. 

Anger bubbles up inside me as I raise my hand to slap her, then I lower it as I look in her eyes, seeing the real Hinata once more.

 "Hello Hinata," I say curtly. "I truly am worried about what you do at those clubs Hinata," I turn to her and grab her shoulders giving her a stern look." If you're so worried then why don't you come with us, just me, Sakura, and tenten. Let's get the gang back together like the old days when Shika-" she cuts herself off, then shied away from me, afraid of me snapping.

 I just stared at her, shocked. Is this really what she feels like? I never thought that I was affecting her like this, I thought she didn't care I stopped hanging out in our little group of friends since Shika died. Now that I truly think about it, I literally shut down everything in my life once Shikamaru died.

 "Yeah, let's do that." I say turning away from her. "I need to get out more anymore, clammed up in the house. Right?" I say twirling around smiling seeing Hinata smile shakily looking mostly shocked.

 "Okay tomorrow night, 9, be ready Ino. Goodnight" she scurries up the stairs and closes her door. "Nice to see you're getting out more." I jump in surprise as I notice my father standing in the threshold of the door to the house. 

He closes the door behind him and walks up to me, patting me on the shoulder nodding reassuringly before moving down the hall to his room, leaving me alone in the kitchen. I head out of the kitchen, turning our the light and head up to my room. 

Stepping into the dark room, I glance at my bedside table, where my picture of me and Shika stands in a golden trimmed frame. 

I faceplant on the soft bed turning on my side to stare at the picture of me and my love. Is this really what Shika wanted? I know I would be lying if I said that I was okay with lonely nights like this, the ones that make me question if it's all worth it, the pain. But this pain shows that my love is still there, and that's good, at least that's what I believe. Right? 

My eyes slip closed as I am relieved from earthly attachments and embrace the darkness.

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I know I said I was going to be away for a while, but I will not neglect you guys at all. Never. So if you guys would forgive me, then that would be great. 

Peace peeps, 

Littlel-lemonhead