Re-Set

Four years. Four years of deliberately avoiding her. Four years of denying, both publicly and to himself that he no longer felt anything for her.  But tonight, for the first time, he understood. He had understood how Yoon yoon-jae had felt for Sung shi-won, because tonight, it had all been reset.

He had been rushing the whole evening, from his shoot to the awards ceremony and now to this supper gathering.  This was a restaurant he had not been to but the bulgogi was mouthwateringly delicious and the soju and beer was, of course, godsend.  He felt that he had been jetting from one end of the world to another in just this one evening and was more than a little exhausted but tVN was where it had all started for him, and you don't forget things like that.  Shin Won-ho PD had suggested they all meet up for drinks, all of Reply's cast and crew and you don't turn that down either.  To him, Shin Won-ho PD still holds a special place in his heart. 

He shivered a little as he strolled through the door and quickly bowed at everyone in greeting. A quick glance told him that he wasn't the last one in and that she was going to be late.  He walked over to Shin PD first to give him a hug, then greeted the cast of 1988 enthusiastically, congratulating them on their win.  He then chose a seat at one end of the huge private room. It gave him an easy view of not only the whole room but the door as well.  He sat himself between Hyeri and Baro, chatting pleasantly with the two, all smiles and appropriate laughter.  He was enjoying himself as they each share their drama experiences and hilarious situations they inevitably get themselves into.  He felt relaxed.  See.  It hadn't been that hard. It was too long ago anyway.  Although he had felt his heart pound and butterflies flapped madly in his stomach just a few hours ago, he was himself again.  He is still the same, confident Seo In-guk, again.  That duet...that damned duet.  He had told himself to stay professional but when he had looked into her eyes, her smile, all of it came crashing home.  Just a few more minutes and he would've been a goner.  Hadn't he always been good at controlling his emotions?  If he could do it then, he could do it now.  He shrugged lightly.  It's no big deal. It was just...all those fun times, those memories.  That's right, he was just remembering...that's all.  It was all in the past.  He cleared his throat and took a swig while attempting to pay attention to what Hyeri was saying.  She is pretty.  A very different charm exudes from her.  A pleasantness that is different from hers. 

Then, just as he was taking a big gulp from his beer, she walked in.  He almost choked. She wasn't in that dress he had such a hard time not looking at.  She was just...herself, in a black cap, easy pullover and black jeans.  He silently thanked the gods for that.  She came in with her huge smile, that easy, wide, pretty smile, effortlessly greeting everyone in the room.  Like him, she had first walked over to hug Shin PD and Lee Woo-Leong writernim.  She had always been polite, always warm, always honest and friendly.  Most had thought of her as a boy, talking to her casually.  He did too, at first, but when you really get to know her, it's different...she is well...different from anyone else.  His eyes followed her as Shin So-yool pulled her down beside her, eagerly sharing a joke with her.  She laughed.  She laughed that laugh he hated the most.  The same laugh that he kept hearing even when he was alone in bed, when he was bone-tired.  He turned his head away and continued his conversation with Hyeri and Baro.

A bout of laughter rang from the other end of the room and he took another gulp from his beer.  He was waging a war inside, trying his damnedest not to look in that direction, her direction, but when Baro pointed at someone at that end, his war ended, tragically.  He turned his gaze swiftly and saw her.  Now sitting across Shi-eon,  she corked her head to one side, listening to Hoya, laughing in that open, unique way of hers.  She had gotten beautiful. That tom-boyish girl whom he thought was simply cute was now, simply beautiful.  Even underneath that cap and in that oversized pullover, she looked to him, ravishing.  He had tried not looking at her earlier at the awards, determined to put the rumours to rest but she took his breath the moment he spotted her at their table in that white dress.  If she was Sung shi-won, the girl then, she is now Jung Eunji, the woman.  He had stopped walking the moment he saw her.  Just staring.  His manager had to prod him forward.  He had to literally take a deep breath, told himself to chill as he made his way to another senior actress first before approaching their table with unflappable ease, all pleasant, all smiles.  She responded with an air of easy smile of her own, apparently, unaware of how she was making him feel.  Judging by some of the stares she had gotten this evening, he probably wasn't the only one that had noticed how that little girl had grown.  He had felt irrationally annoyed and had acted, despite his intentions, a little aloof.  They sat together but he was feeling all thumbs and the award seemed set on bringing him through the same emotions he had denied so fervently and that had him over-reacting to her.  She must have felt it then.  He took a glance at her.  She was talking to So-yool, her expression intense, her brow lightly furrowed, as if she was trying to find out the deeper meaning behind what So-yool was saying.  She was always like this.  She listens, really listens.  He shook his head, not realizing that he was so distracted he was just drinking and nodding on auto response. He chastised himself, quickly returning to the present and the now.  Shi-eon sauntered over to join them.  In-guk was really happy to see him.  He was the hyeong, but they had been really close when they were shooting 'reply 1997'.  He had learnt a lot from this hyeong and he greets him fondly.

Shi-eon was always the funny man.  He had a talent for really cracking people up so their conversation took a turn when Shi-eon joined.  He left the conversation heavy-carrying to him and was now laughing effortlessly with his jokes.  While on one hand, he had intended to be fully invested in the conversation, his peripheral vision had remained as sharp as ever. He could tell when she was smiling widely to something Hoya was saying, he could tell when she was enjoying her conversation with Lee Dong-hwi, he could also tell that she had put a hand on Hoya's arm when they were laughing and he felt hot suddenly.  The temperature in this restaurant is too high he decided. The weather outside wasn't that cold yet so did they really had to turn on the heat?  Subconsciously, he pulled at his shirt, all the while, trying to maintain an outward smile.  He caught another motion and had turned slightly to see Ryu Joon-yeol walking across to join Hoya, So-yool and her. Ryu Joon-yeol was standing there smiling while they chatted happily.  He tightened his grip on his glass.  He narrowed his eyes as he stole glances at them, his eyes recording every single detail.  Ryu Joon-yeol is tall.  He looked like a model in those easy slacks and a black jacket.  He had heard that Ryu Joon-yeol was a friendly and warm person who loved adventures and, in all outward appearances, seemed to fit her personality pretty well but wait, how does that concern him?  He shook his head, clearly, he needed to control himself.  Where's that damn So-yool?  Ryu Joon-yeol and her, they were looking at each other, enjoying the company, smiling, talking and she had leant in close to him to hear him. The proximity between those two was pushing him to his limits, in other words, driving him nuts.  He wanted to walk over right away, grabbed her hand and run.  Wait.  What?  No.  What was he thinking?  He was over her.  No.  No.  No.  He was over her.  He told himself again and took another huge swig, emptying the glass.  He cleared his mind, determined to stay rational and with a resolute expression, he turned his eyes away.

Except, he couldn't.  His eyes had a way of stealing over to her, only to see Ryu Joon-yeol sitting ever closer, looking intently at her while they spoke; and the look on her face, she was enjoying his company.  He had watched an episode of youths over flowers with him in it and had admired him for his quick thinking and fearlessness.  Well, not so much now. He felt unease and urgency gripped him.  Eunji loved adventures, she was equally fearless.  He slumped back onto his seat, defeated.  If he were to tell her now and not then, would her response be different?  If he hadn't hide behind his facade of endless jokes and pranking, would she had taken him seriously?  Would it be different?  Would she be his now?  He could only look on and stare at her happily talking to another man.  Just then, Shi-eon put an arm around his shoulders as he sat close.  He smiled, knowingly and said: "You won't get another chance."  All In-guk could do was look deep into his eyes and the jigsaw pieces in his heart finally clicked.  He turned his head and stared straight at her. This time, maybe this time, it could be.

The End