Light -Marcel Fanfiction-

Chapter Sixteen

I wake before her again. Oh, goodness, she's so beautiful. She clutches my shirt again, her eyebrows furrowed. Little beads of sweat dot her hairline as her breath falls in heavy sighs from her mouth. She looks so bothered, dear, why is she so bothered? Maybe she's having a bad dream. I move my arms so I'm holding her tighter, squeezing her shoulder. Her lips move a little, as if whispering to somebody. And then she tenses, relaxes, stills, and opens her eyes. In the mornings they're a greyish type of green, that look so mysterious and clouded you can't ever tell what's on her mind.

"Did you have a bad dream?" I whisper. She looks around, taking in her surroundings. Then she relaxes again and nods twice. "What was it about?"

"My brother, comin' back and hurtin' people," she murmurs.

"You're afraid of your brother?"

"I'm not afraid of anything," she snaps, her green eyes darker, now that they've got anger in them.

"Pistanthrophobia," I remind her. "We've had this discussion." She shifts uncomfortably under my arm. Jocelyn's green eyes avoid mine. She puts her had on my chest and toys with a necklace hanging around my neck.

"What are you afraid of, Marcel? Other than storms, what are you afraid of?"

I think for a moment, before responding, "Spiders. I'm terrified of spiders. And I'm incredibly claustrophobic."

"You're claustrophobic but you like snuggling?" She smiles at me. Her smile is so beautiful.

"That is a bit odd. I guess I just really like you," I smile back, blushing a little bit. "What were your parents like, Jocelyn?" I ask, changing the subject. Her arms tense and her smile fades quickly. Those gorgeous green eyes drop from mine again and she chews on her lip.

"I don't like talking about them," she mumbles.

"Oh," I frown. Jocelyn peeks up at me, then sighs.

"Dad worked at a car dealership. I would go there every day after school and colour pictures until he was done with work, then Daniel and I would go home with him and wait for Mum. She didn't come home until late, she worked at a hospital. But I liked the car dealership, there was a salesman called Adam who I always had a crush on. He kept crackers and crayons and candies in his desk for me," she smiles. "Mum looked like me, a little, brown hair but blue eyes. She had freckles, but we had the same facial structure, mainly. Her name was Laura. And Dad had brown hair, too, and brown eyes. So did my brother. Dad's name was Jeremy. And then one day they came home, got in a fight, and..." she looks away. "Shit, Marcel, you don't wanna know this stuff, do you?"

"I do," I tell her. I had been listening with interest. I like the way her lips move when she talks, smiles and frowns flickering in her words. She sighs.

"They didn't walk out on me, Marcel. H-he killed her." My heart drops into my stomach and my breath leaves me. I feel like somebody had sat on my lungs. "He shot her and then he shot himself. The court was gonna put Daniel and I in a home, but he said he would take care of me. And he did, for a while, then he took off, left me in our shitty little house in the 'hood. So I got on a train at aged sixteen and took every gram of money I had, that Mum and Dad had, that Daniel had, and got a few jobs around here, then found a house."

I don't know what to do or to say.

"H-how old were you, when your dad...?"

"I was twelve, Daniel was seventeen. He was twenty-one when he left me, he's twenty-seven now, wherever the fuck he is," Jocelyn murmurs. My throat is dry. Her arms are tense and her eyes aren't on mine anymore. "It was nine years ago, I'm not sad anymore," she whispers. But it's only been five years since he left her. She's still mad, I know it.