My desperate endeavor to find my whoever

21) Lex

"Lex, babe, are you okay?" She soothed, coming towards me.

I shrugged away as she went to touch my arm. "Get away from me." I snapped.

"Lex please..." Lisa whined.

"Don't fucking call me that!" I yelled, getting right in her face. "You are nothing to me now, don't think you can ruin everything and then come running back with fucking 'Lex babe' - fuck you, Lisa!"

She began with her usual crocodile tears, and Jack went to comfort her; I threw my arm out to stop him. He looked at me. "What the fuck man?"

"She doesn't deserve sympathy." I snarled. "She ruined everything; she deserves SHIT."

"I don't deserve sympathy?" She half-laughed. "I ruined everything? Remind me Alex, who was the one who cheated this time? Who threw me out of my own home?!"

"Well, even if I had, it makes a fucking change to you cheating on me!" I was starting to tear up now. "And your home? Excuse me?! Whose name is on that fucking house? Mine! Whose money pays for it? Fucking MINE!" Jack was having to physically hold me back because I was absolutely losing it, and he was struggling too. I wanted to hurt her like she'd hurt me; I wanted her to experience physical pain that amounted to all the heartache she'd caused me.

Lisa stared; not threateningly, just a soft stare as if she felt sorry for me. "You need help, Alex." She said calmly, not breaking eye contact. "Clearly you're not yourself, and she obviously isn't doing much good for yo-"

Suddenly Lisa was yanked backwards by her hair, and the next thing I heard could only be described as screeching cats. She was dragged to the floor, a chunk of her hair thrown to the side. It was Erin.

"Babe stop!" I yelled, trying to pull her away.

"You fucking BITCH!" she shrieked, clawing and smacking at Lisa as best she could. "How fucking DARE you!"

The next thing I knew Zack came charging through and scooped Erin up in one swift action. Rian helped Jack by dragging me away and Kate Colussy tended to Lisa. "She's not fucking worth it Kate," I said loudly. "Lisa just looks after number fucking one. Sure, she'll appreciate it now, but fuck will she throw it back at you one day!"

"Alex," a voice said down my ear; it was Flyzik. "This isn't okay, any of it. Lisa is Kate's friend, and your girlfriend just attacked her. Fucking sort this."

"Why should I?" I snapped, wrenching out of Jack's grip; Rian kept a tight hold on me. "That fucking whore ruined me. She had me like a fucking puppet and she fucked me over so many times. This is fucking payback. She's only getting what she deserves."

Ordinarily, I'd have asked how Matt had found out about us, but right now I didn't care. We could deal with that later. They all stared at me in disbelief; part of me couldn't believe what I was saying, but it was the truth. I hated her; I despised her. Flyzik cleared everyone out, leaving just himself, Jack, Rian, Zack and Kate to interrogate me and Erin.

"Okay, we're going to talk all of this through calmly," Flyzik said slowly, taking mainly to me and Erin.

I was about to retort when she pinched me. "Keep your fucking trap shut," Erin grumbled.

Kate cleared her throat and stood up. "I just want to make it clear," she began, turning towards Erin. "That I understand why Erin did what she did. I sure as hell wouldn't take that from one of Matt's exes. But Alex, you didn't need to blow up at her like that. A simple 'leave me alone' and walking away would have sufficed. You fuelled Erin's rage and it was totally uncalled for. You should be ashamed."

"But he has every right to be angry with Lisa." Zack piped up, totally unexpectedly. "I agree that Erin had a reason and only acted to protect him, but Alex has been repeatedly shit on for fucking years. We've had to be there by his side and pick up the pieces, only for the same shit to happen all over again." He paused. "I'm a laid back guy who's let a lot go over his head over the years but I am fucking done with my friends being shit on. I love these guys, they're genuinely happy together. They're fucking great."

None of us expected that; I think Zack even scared himself a little. Rian remained neutral in all of this, while Jack looked more annoyed than ever. Kate glared at Zack, and I caught Erin flashing him a quick smile; he blushed. "Kate, I really appreciate what you just said." She told her. "I just kind of reacted in the moment and I wish I hadn't. I don't blame Alex," she said, looking at me as she rested a hand on my lap. "Because I'm a hot-tempered bitch from Essex, who spent a good few years of my life in Manchester, which didn't help calm me down in any way shape or form. I'm a defender; I'll defend myself and the ones I love to the death when they come under attack. I'm like a mother lion over her cubs. Lisa had no right to bring Alex's mental health up, no one does. Men struggle talking about these things enough, and we should be encouraging him to speak to people, not accusing him of being ill and blaming it on someone else. At the end of the day, I saw red and I reacted. Probably wasn't my finest moment, and I won't say I'm proud of it, but for someone who's supposed to love Alex, Lisa has a funny way of showing it." Erin took a breath. "I've had my own struggles with no one to defend me or to be there. Alex left when I was young. Gemma died when we were teenagers. I've struggled with psychological problems. I don't want anyone to think about themselves the way I've thought about myself or do anything I did." I saw her glance down at her wrist, pulling her sleeve down over her hand; everyone else saw too.

"Oh sweetie," Kate soothed, pulling her close. "I'll speak to Lisa. Maybe you two can build bridges while the wounds are still fresh...literally and metaphorically." Kate tittered. "But Alex, you and her need to sort this."

I sighed. "I know." I agreed, nodding my head. "I will I swear, but it'll be best to give her some time first."

I decided to retire to the bus for the night; a night of drinking didn't seem like a good plan right now. I climbed into my bunk, with absolutely no intention of moving until morning.