Lose it

Idk what to put to introduce the story, but i kinda got into it. c:

There was some sort of bland aura when i woke up. It was gentle, but strong enough to set me off. Numbness filled my every bone and breath, clutching me in what seemed like a pit of nothing. Weakly, I stepped from my large bed to the cold ground and slipped on baggy clothes. I analyzed my every feature reflected in the full length mirror and cringed at every flab.

          I wont go into detail about the numbness, only that its like relaxation but with the occasional fluctuation of fear and never ending feeling of uselessness. The numbness is something I've tried to escape for the past couple of years. I skip meals, I exercise until I collapse I dedicate endless hours to the pursuit of perfection. It's in vain.

         After a while I'm ready to be taken to another hell-hole other than my home filled with disgruntled and angry family members. Ignore me. Ignore me. Ignore me. Ignore me. I desperately think, because having to smile and wave, saying im good, and that I'm going to try and have a good day is polite bs that i hate. Crowds of fellow angsty and developing students bump in to me, not acknowledging me in the slightest. It's better that way.

        A happy looking teenager wraps her thin arm around my neck "Hey there negative nancy," she giggles "how was your morning?" It's caroline, my adorable and perfect accomplance. I stare at her arm then glance to mine. Fat fuck.

             "It was average," I say as if i  were going to continue, but she interupts me as I planned.

              "Oh that's great Lena!" Caroline smiles and it's like being flashed with a search light. "Say..." she drags out, "Your little sister said that she was sick and asked me to get this out of her locker, but i don't have time after school to give it to her..." She says pushing a bright pink binder into my chest, I didn't know she stayed home today... "Can you?" Carolline doesn't give me a choice, I say yes, and she turns and skips away "See you in English!"

            Caroline is my only friend, she's the only one who isn't off put by my bland sarcasm. It's like every other human got a pair of glasses that sees every flaw except for her. Sometimes I don't think she's even human.

       Third period rolls around and it's time for english, the only class I have with Caroline. The wooden door is propped open and i step into the vanilla scented room. Caroline is seated near the middle in our usual desks, because the desks are in rows we sit next to each other. However, today my desk is occupied by a blonde bimbo with too much make-up and fake tan on. "Oh look," her nasily voice is raised from the gossiping level of loud whisper, Caroline looks up from their convorsation and face sinks when she sees me. "It's Anorexic Ana!" Reed almost shouts, then she belts out the most hideous laugh I've ever heard. 

       "It's Lena..." I start, avoiding the anorexic bit.

     "Oh sorry," She says sarcasticly, "I don't keep up with waste-of-space names, Ana, Lena, Luanne... It's all the same. Why don't you go breathe someone elses air and go over there," The blonde points to a desk on the opposite side of the room. I look at Caroline and she's reading but still nodding in aggreeance.

       "I'm going to sit next to Reed today," She says slowly, "And probably tommorow, we have stuff to talk about," 

      "Stuff that you don't know anything about, which is a lot" Reed adds, "You're not very smart."

       "And you're a whore," I retort and start to walk away. A little dramatic, but how the hell did she know about the starving... Did Caroline tell her?

       "Don't take your best, and only friend, replacing you out on me," Reed shouts. I gulp, the numbness turns into a pain foccussed into my stomach. And my head. I continue to the only empty desk in the room, but walking in a strait line is beginning to get a little harder and im dizzy. I realize that lately Caroline has only been talking to me when she needs something. My knees buckle and colors fly infront of my face, then they turn to black and i lose all will to stand. "OH LOOK, THE BITCH FAINTED!"