Missed Connections

Chapter 31 - Warts and All

Finishing up my coffee while sitting at the breakfast bar was giving me the perfect view of Louis and Harry bantering back and forth in the living room.  They were fighting over who was going to possess the primary controller for some sort of gaming console.  Ready Player One.  Lou was getting pretty feisty, and I got the distinct impression that the stakes weren't  nearly as high for Harry.  Rather, he was trying to bug the shit out of Louis.  The brotherly affection between them was adorable.  I bet Louis is the best big bro to all his siblings.  I smiled, imagining him playing games or having the girls paint his nails.  Swoon.

But I was feeling rattled.  It was disconcerting to think that Louis might be hiding the details of a significant occurrence in L.A. from me. Harry was being pretty obvious in his nudging about it.  However, it didn't seem like Louis wanted to share.  Mixed feelings was an understatement of my inner turmoil right now. I had spilled my guts to Lou about everything that happened with Wes.  Didn't Louis trust me in the same way?  Pangs of anxiety wrestled in my belly.  Thank goodness I only ate toast for breakfast, otherwise I might have upchucked everything.

Louis glanced over at me and flashed a huge goofy smile.  He had managed to win the controller after all.  Though, judging my Harry's fetal posture on the couch, Lou might have used below the belt tactics for his victory.  Classic sassy Lou.  I beamed back at him, trying to hide my feelings, and hoping that for once my face wasn't completely betraying me.  

Get a grip, Ev.  Louis has obviously been over the moon to see you since his trip, and if you want to spend more quality time with him you've got to cut the crazies.  Not that wanting someone to be honest with you is crazy.  Rather, it's being troubled just because others aren't as much of an open book as you that is delusional.  And stop the inner monologue already.  There is no way your face is a blank slate right now.  Damn you expressive eyebrows!

I practically shoved my nose in to my mug, swallowing down the dregs.  I slip off the barstool and rinse the cup in the sink before popping it on the counter.  By this point, Harry had recovered and was now trying to trounce Louis in the game.  Soccer, I think.  Or is it football?  Either way, they look like a couple of nerds, and it's very cute.  I walk over to Lou, and run my hand through his hair.  He turns his head slightly towards me, but keeps his eyes on the game. 

"I'm going to shower, babe."

"Alright, luv," Louis replies. "NO!  Off-sides, Hazza!  You are so in for it!"

"Wrong call, wanker!" retorts Harry before emphatically knocking Lou's controller out of his hand.

"Right, I've leave you gents to it.  Towels in the bathroom?" I call over my shoulder.

"Yeah, should be," Louis replied, clearly still engrossed in the game.

I slink out of the kitchen and head back towards Louis' bedroom.  I find a cozy looking towel in the cupboard, and place it down on the toilet seat.  I turn on the hot water, letting it heat up while I undress.  I adjust it to the perfect temperature before stepping in.  The water feels glorious.  I let it run down my face, through my hair, and over my body.  I rest my head against the wall, letting the heat of the spray relax the tension in my back muscles.

The heavy lump in my belly is still there, and I take a deep breath.  Tears prick against the back of my eyes, and I let them come.  Two drops fall before getting washed away.   A noise startles me, and I flick open my eyes.

"What the fuck?" I yell.

"Whoa, relax luv." I feel Louis gently steading me, his hands on my shoulders.

"Holy shit!  You frightened the crap out of me!"

"Figured.  You screamed bloody murder."

"I should think you were used to screaming fans."