A blind life

In our society we get told what's wrong and what's right, what to do and what not to do. The way we dress, the way we eat and even the way we think is influenced by others. Let's face it everyone wants to feel good and to look good. We fall victim to impressing others and peer pressure reigns superior. Some people have their future planned out for them. Even from a young age we are told which toys to play with and at school we are told that getting a good job and earning money is the key to happiness.

Well imagine doing things that were taboo all day everyday as a job. You know like infiltrating well known establishments and getting information for the government intelligence. That's my life, teenage spy Reece River. That's not my birth name though, I was adopted and I sadly don't know where I came from or who my birth parents are but judging from the colour of my skin and facial features I'm guessing Southern Africa. For a girl my age I'm very lonely, I partly blame that on never going to a public school and never making friends in fear of my identity being exposed. I don't trust people very easily. I've learnt to pick up people's personalities fast enough so I can gain their trust and this has helped me to be successful in my missions without anyone finding out my true identity. I've had to make life and death decisions in a matter of seconds. This has been going on since the tender age of six. I know now at sixteen I face a future of never getting married, never having children, never having a permanent residence and never having the chance of going after my own dreams.

Now, I'm not going to lie being a spy is hard and for me seems to be getting harder by each mission I get. The last mission I completed was probably one of the only times I've ever felt wanted by somebody. I met this boy called Ryan, the son of one of my bosses. I didn't know that something I had only know for a short amount of time could take over my life the way Ryan did to mine. Since the day I met him he has been my motivation in the morning and my gratefulness in the night. It's his piercing brown eyes that sparkle in the light as if they are jewels or maybe it's his hair and how it seems to be in that perfect quiff shape at any given time. Well whatever it is, he's got me hooked and there's no chance of me letting go soon.

Ever since I was six, I have been trained by the British government at Oxford University as one of the first in a long line of young intelligence officers. I was given new identity to use during missions. So as far as anyone is concerned I'm 21 year old Shanice Kaye blog reporter for relentless.com. But there is nothing more to me that just that, I live a life of disclosure and ambiguity and yet I want to have clear knowledge of what's going on in the world around me. I'm always someone else who seems to have been playing dress up for the last ten years of her life. Moreover I can't even have a real friendship because 99% of the time it's based on me - lies. Even with that said Ryan has been the friend I've always wanted, he's fantastic!! He's a perfect mix of confident, sensitive and in control. Our friendship recently hit a bumping road when I innocently asked about his family, specifically where his mother is (I thought our friendship was at a place where I could ask him anything - obviously not!!). His breathing became heavier, he started moving around in his chair and his eyes became watery. No answer came from his mouth but instead a tear drop hit the screen of his phone which was followed by him storming out and I haven't heard from him since. There goes that one friend.

Next morning

My three week holiday is over. No more late morning rises and duvet days. Relaxation time is over and back to my ever so crazy life. I have to say goodbye to Netflix and every episode of Pretty Little Liars I recorded. I pull myself out of bed and rub my sleep ridden eyes. A profound sound comes from my rather bulgy looking stomach and I sigh at the thought of having to sacrifice my time to meet the needs of my body. I climb out of bed to open the curtain and I am greeted by the most beautiful British spring morning. I stand and stare out of the window for about two minutes until I realise that I'm wearing no bra and just got out of bed. Running to the bathroom I grab my towel and turn on my bath water. I must treasure this bath time because it's the last in a long time I thought to myself. A vibration sounded from my phone and so I went to check it. It was an email telling me that I was going to be picked up from my hotel at 9:30 am so I only had an hour and a half to get ready. I jumped into the bath and came out 30 minutes later and quickly got dressed. By the time I finally got ready, it was 9:15 and so I sat on the bed also went through a mental checklist of all my belongings and whether I had packed them in my suitcase or not.

A knock at the door brought me back to reality and out of my deep thoughts. I walked over, opened the door and I was greeted by a smile- a face I knew all too well. It was Ryan. "Good morning, are you ready to go?" he said so effortlessly as he walked into my hotel room. "So I guess you're my escort for today" I said looking hopefully into his eyes. He then pulled a fake thinking face, "Well since you're begging me...". "Ohh swerve boy" I said as I tried to widen the gap between us but then he pulled me close. So close that I could feel his hot breath on my face and the smell of his One Million Paco Rabanne perfume overwhelmed my nostrils as I breathed the scent in. His close presence was unbearable so I got out of his grasp and began to collect my bags so that I could end our little moment. Ryan smiled at the childish way I didn't want to tell him I liked him. "So where am I going next then?" I blurted out trying to break the awkward silence I had just created.

"Erm...you will be based next in Canada. It will go on for six months, well that is if everything goes to plan. In the private jet you will be given exact orders that you must follow for the first two-three months. If they are not done accordingly it will extend your stay and put many lives at risk. Are you up for it?" he said as he had his hands in his pockets. "Like I have a choice Ryan" I said sarcastically whilst rolling my eyes. So at that we headed off to the airport. It was a bit awkward in the car but it soon ended though. I was just happy that he had gotten over the "mother" situation.

After a long fourteen hour flight, we landed at Toronto Pearson International Airport. We went through security and headed out of the airport. As I was approaching the doors to exit a sexy looking man bumped into me. "I'm sorry" I said whilst looking up and down his body. His curly hair, muscly arms and tan caramel skin captivated me so much so that I almost didn't hear him say "No I'm sorry, it was clearly my fault", which was followed by "Hi I'm Aubrey" and a handshake. I didn't get to answer as I was being called by Ryan to hurry up. I looked in the direction of Ryan and started to walk again until Aubrey stopped me to give me his business card and wanted to have lunch with him. I grabbed the card, smiled and began running to the car.