Ebony

Chapter one:  the dreams

  i'd opened my eyes, scared to close them again, this wasn't the first time i've had this dream. But when i did it scared the shit out of me. It was always the same thing,i was standing in a field alone,Then i heard whispers turning into screams behind me driving me insane, they would echo through my ears, i would always end up o the ground crying and screaming but my screams were silent there was never any way out of the hell.i was always stuck until i woke up, i would always wake up crying and terrified.

 I frantically searched my bedside table for my phone, normally a bit of music would calm my nerves, i hit play and let my mind settle into the lyrics " I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone. I long for that feeling to not feel at all.", bring me the horizon music always calmed my nerves. anything loud which was quite the oppisite of calm was relaxing to me, i was backwards, I was only normal in the fact that i breathed.  Ever since i was 10 i had been shut out by anyone and everyone.    My parent had died in car crash when i was 9, i ended up satying with my grandmother, who was a bit crazy, always had been. Sometimes i would wonder if my strange dreams and vivid imagination were from her, my mother was the same way, always making up stories and imagining detailed creatures and people that were not existant. 

This is why i thought i was insane not complete;y but to the point where i was questioning my reality. The one good thing that came from my unscrewed ideas, was my art. Using pastels and neons and greys to create my own point of veiw, Never the same idea or work of art ever. That was the one thing that helped me keep my ming from wondering, letingt he paint brush flow across the canvas like silk. My one and only release from reality, was in fact insanity in the most sane of ways.