Beautiful Mess | jb

Chapter 19 - Goodbye London

The next day went by in a blur. Justin and I slept in and had breakfast. Then I started to do some packing in order not to leave it all for tomorrow. Today was our last day together in London. Justin had a couple of meetings during the day and I went for a walk in some park before meeting him at the arena. We did the usual of cuddling, having dinner and chilling backstage. Then it was time for the show and as always I wished Justin good luck, gave him a kiss and went to find my seat.

This time it felt different. I didn't watch the show the same way I did before. As Justin entered the stage I was scared the glass cube might fall down and he'd get hurt. Every time he was elevated on one of those platforms I was nervous he might trip and fall down. The time he sat down to perform purpose and held the hands of fans I was scared they'd pull him down toward them and off the stage. All the time when people threw things on stage I prayed he wouldn't get hit by them. My whole attitude had changed. I cared for Justin deeply and was concerned for his wellbeing. I knew the fears I had were ridiculous, because he had done a couple shows before and knows what he's doing and there was security and all that, but still I couldn't help but worry about him.

After the show we made out for a while in the dressing room before we called it a day and went back to the hotel. Justin put on a movie and we cuddled up in bed occasionally kissing and making out. After the movie had finished we both fell asleep pretty much immediately.

The next morning came way too soon and it was time for me to leave. Eventually we got up after some more cuddling and kissing in bed.

"I don't want this to end."

"I know baby girl, but you're starting your new job on Monday. Aren't you excited for that?"

"I am." I smiled. "But still I'd rather stay in this beautiful, pink, fluffy bubble."

"Pink and fluffy?" Justin chuckled.

"Yeah, like cotton candy." I laughed.

"I like cotton candy."

"Me too." I smiled and we kissed some more until Justin disconnected our lips.

"Come on, we gotta get up." I rolled my eyes at him.

"How about you go for a shower and I order us some breakfast?"

"Sounds perfect. Thanks." I smiled and kissed him once more before wandering off to the bathroom.

We had breakfast like some lovestruck teens as we fed each other and giggled all the time. At some point I sat on Justin's lap again and we kissed in between eating. It was lovely, but we both knew time was running out.

I had finally finished packing and was about to leave for the airport. As much as I dreaded this moment, it was finally here and we had to say goodbye. I vowed to myself not to cry, but to be thankful for the time we shared and treasure it. Nevertheless, I couldn't stop myself from wondering what all this meant. So much had happened in the past couple of days and Justin and I had grown a lot closer, got the chance to get to know each other better and both opened up - at least a little bit. The walls were coming off and the process of our relationship evolving and growing into something was disrupted. I didn't have any time to process all the events and it felt like a weird point to be leaving. One question remained: What were we? I couldn't help myself but wonder how to describe our relationship. It wasn't that I desperately needed a definition - it was too soon to tell and I couldn't even say what I thought it was or wanted it to be, but people at home were gonna ask questions. What was I gonna tell them? Also, how was I supposed to go on from here? Was this it for good or was there a future for us? If so, what kind of relationship are we aspiring to? Were we allowed to see other people? Not that I'd do that, but I needed to know whether I was supposed to forget about Justin and treasure this wonderful experience as such or were we continuing this thing whatever it was that we had going between us. Both of us were inevitably moving on with our lives after this adventure came to an end, only would we do that together or go our separate ways? What did he want? What was I to him?