Tales From Twistwood

Don't Turn Around

 Turning your back on something is always hard.

I knew it was a bad idea to go to Sophia's house right before I was going to break up with her. I mean, everyone's told me it's a bad idea to be really nice to someone and then crush their feelings, but what else was I supposed to do? Be mean to her and then break her heart? No, I figured this was the best way. Now the only hard part will be figuring out how to word the reason for the breakup.

I rang the doorbell and immediately shoved my hand back in my pocket, watching my breath freeze into a cloud in front of my eyes. It was freezing out here. Even for October, it was cold. With Halloween only a couple weeks away, I knew my brother would be disappointed if it was too cold to trick-or-treat.

The door opened to reveal Sophia, her teal-blue hair tied up into a messy ponytail, splatters of red paint across her white T-Shirt. Just looking at her made me feel guilty. Was I really going to do this? Could I?

"Katie!" Her face lit up in a smile. "Come on, I've got a huge list of scary movies. All your favorites."

I smiled weakly and stepped inside. My heart was pounding. There was absolutely no way I could do this.

Ten minutes later, we were curled up on her couch, the opening sequence of Halloween just now ending. It was one of my favorite movies of all time, and Sophia knew that. My heart ached, and I asked myself again what I had been asking myself since I got here - could I do this?

My girlfriend sat up beside me. "I dunno about you, but I'm starving. I'm gonna go make some snacks, 'kay?"

"'Kay." I replied weakly. I wondered if she could sense my nerves.

She got up to go into the kitchen, and against my better judgement, I followed her. Maybe she would feel better if I broke the news to her while she was eating. Food always made me feel better.

Sophia grabbed a bag of popcorn and shoved it in the microwave. Then, she slid a knife from the butcher block and started to chop up a tomato. I bit my lip and watched the weird tomato-y fluids seep out onto the cutting board. Could I do this?

"Sophia..." I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding. "We need to talk."

She stopped cutting the tomato and flicked her eyes back to me, eyebrow raised. "About?"

"Our relationship."

Her lips were pursed as she continued cutting the vegetable in silence. I wondered what she was thinking, at that moment. I decided to continue.

"It's just... Lately, you've been kind of... Possessive."

She stopped again and looked back at me. Her face was completely blank. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. To tell the truth, I was afraid of what would happen once I told her what had really been going on with me.

"And I mean, I've been kind of pushing it off, but it's just - You've been scaring me, Sophia."

When she spoke, her words came out harsh. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "When I hang out with other people - my friends, even some of my family - you yell at me. Accuse me of cheating on you, or liking someone else more. I'm really sorry, Sophia, but I just can't-"

"Don't you love me?" Her voice was a whisper, and when I looked back at her face her eyes were full of tears.

"I do - I mean I did - it's just-"

"I thought you loved, me Katie. You promised we'd be together for a long time."

"And it's been fun, I know, I just-"

"You promised." She took a step closer to me, and I realized the knife she had used was still clenched in her fist. Her fingers were white around it.

"Sophia, put the knife down." My voice wavered. Right now, I admitted to myself the real reason I was breaking up with my girlfriend of three years - I had been afraid to, up until this point. Afraid of what she'd do if I tried to leave her.

"And it's not just that," I continued. "You've been threatening them, too. You've been telling my closest friends to stay away from me."

The blood drained from her face. "You know about that?" she sputtered.

"You really thought she wouldn't tell you?" I was angry, now. Angry that Sophia had manipulated me into staying with her for the past few months. I used to love her, I knew that. But right now, I knew I really, really didn't.

Then she took another step towards me.

"I'll hurt you if you break up with me, Katie. I will." The knife was still clenched in her fist, and she still kept inching towards me. I felt a jab at my hip. The counter was behind my back. There was nowhere to go.

I wasn't angry anymore.

"You said you were going to," I choked out. "The first time."

"But I didn't have to that time. Because you didn't walk out my door."

Her eyes started to well up with tears as she pressed the cold blade of the knife to the spot between my collarbones. I whimpered.

"I thought you loved me!" she sobbed. "I thought you cared about me more than anyone else in the world. You said so. You promised!"

"You made me do that, Sophia," I croaked. "You made me promise. That was the first time."

She pressed the knife further into my skin. The sharp point dug into my flesh, and a tear escaped my eye.

"No. I'm not going to."

In a second, she twisted me around so her stomach was pressed against my back, and the blade of the knife was to my throat. My blood rushed in my ears, my heart was pounding so hard it was about to jump out of my chest. I started to sob.

"Say you love me."

I bit my lip. I wasn't going to. I wasn't going to give in. She couldn't really kill me. She might hurt me, but I'd tell someone and she'd get arrested. But she couldn't kill me.

"Say it," she hissed through clenched teeth.

Everything was fast, too fast after that. I felt her arm tighten around me. The knife blade dug into my neck. I thought, She's going to kill me. She's really going to kill me. A drop of blood trickled down my collarbone.

Fast as lightning, I whirled around and grabbed her wrist. Her eyes were crazy. Insane. She was insane. My tears blurred my eyes. I couldn't see. I couldn't see anything. I grabbed a knife from the counter. Then I was on top of her, sitting on her stomach, holding her wrist back from stabbing that knife into my chest. My other hand was raised high, high above my head. I could stab her right now. I could end this.

I couldn't hesitate. What was I going to do?

"Say you love me, Katie." Sophia said firmly. Her crazy eyes bored into mine. Those brown eyes I had once loved, those brown eyes that threatened me, those brown eyes that hurt me and called me worthless and kept me trapped in a relationship for three years because I thought I wasn't good enough, that no one else would love me.

"Leave me alone!" I screeched, and stabbed my hand down.

I felt Sophia's body spasm, and then go still. I felt the blade slide into her chest, almost too easily. A drop of blood trickled from her lips to the white floor.

My whole body shook, tears streaming from my eyes, breath shuddering in my lungs. There was no time to think, no time to do anything. I was scared. I was alone. I was panicking.

I felt as if I was walking in a dream as I walked to the door and stepped into the cold, cold air. I realized I left my jacket inside, but I wasn't going to go back.

I could almost feel the darkness starting to creep into my body as soon as I stepped onto the lawn. It was as if something was out there, watching me. I turned to face the house. My body still shook harder than it ever had before. How was I going to walk away from this?

Turning your back on something is always hard. Sometimes, turning your back on something can be terrifying.