Trying to please EVERYONE is a recipe for stress, misery and frustration. BE YOURSELF it'll be good to know who's down with that. -Anon
'Was it tough for you to face your problems with school or home?' That's what my therapist asks all the time. Schools tough when you get bullied for being different or dating someone you're not supposed to or even living with a man who drinks too much and tells you 'you're never gonna be good enough. Why do you think your mother left us? You're a worthless piece of shit, Kol...' Sucks to be me. My names Kol Beckett Townsen and this is a life that has a story with every scar on the wrists I place pain on. Every bruise, every mark upon my body has a story and I don't care for pity or rude comments. I don't care if you believe me or not, but my stories are true and will always be true.
I was three when my mother left us and it hurt. I don't know where she is, but everyone who knows her said she was nice and caring. If she was so nice and caring why did she leave me with a man that marks me up with anything he gets his hands on? The man hates me with every bone and muscle in his body. Parents are supposed to love and care for you and never leave you; my parents aren't those kinds of parents at all. My life can get really upsetting if you let it or believe me. Well guess let's get on with my life and the story behind my markings.
You might say tell someone, well I've tried. And they thought I was lying. You see my dad puts on a 'mask' for people when we are out in public, so everyone thinks he's the perfect dad, when truthfully he's not. Maybe if I found someone who would believe me, I could tell that person, but I can't. I know you're going to tell me 'you have friends', but I don't, no one in the school likes me at all because no one believes me.
Alright let's start with my days at school, which aren't the best, but aren't the worst. I always wake up late because my dad never wakes me and when I do I have to get ready quick. When I get to school I end up having to go to 3rd period, which is the worst teacher ever. This teacher is always getting me in trouble with the principal and the assistant principals and the dean. The dean pisses me off sometimes; all the teachers think I get beat up by other people when I tell them it was my dad. SCHOOL FUCKING SUCKS!!!!! The teachers make me want to scream at the top of my lungs. This shit sucks when you can't get through to anyone. I'm basically the outcast at this fucking school then I go home to a fucking hell hole with a man who doesn't know his limit with that shitty alcohol he drinks.
No one ever understands the shit I say. I hear people in the halls call me names like bitch or fag; I hear it all the time when walking from class to class. It's not something to be proud of but I ignore it because it doesn't faze me at all to be called those names. I'm called other things, but I won't say what those names are, only because they aren't any better than the others. No matter how hard I try to get through the halls as fast as I can I always get stopped by someone. I hear students laughing at me say 'he's a fucking loser, why is he in this school? He should be kicked out.'