I REFUSE •Stephen Curry•

•16•

Day 1-
I woke up that morning ok until I realised what actually happened last night. Him and I no longer will be together again. I had to accept it. That was the hardest part realising that you lost the one person who put you through hell but the one person who somehow brought you heaven was gone. I opened my eyes the covers spread over me and a light mist of light escaped the small cracks of the blinds. I looked at the ceiling reminding me of last night. I didn't really know what I wanted anymore and was not sure what to do about it. My pain was dragging me down as I was trying to get up. My heart stung and my head was pounding. I had to focus on moving forward and the only I could do that was to not look back. I sit up my legs dangling above the carpet as my toes slightly brushed it. Taking a deep breath I stand up and go to the bathroom. A gasp escapes my lips as I squirm at the sight of myself. I had really let go of my appearance a smudge of left on makeup was still there from about a week ago and my hair was in knots. I strip my clothes off and get in the shower. The warm water hits my back as small water drops race down my skin soothing it from the cold air. I tried to avoid my thoughts but they kept popping up. Why did he come? Did he actually care or did he pity me for his actions before? I didn't want answers to those questions as I knew them but chose not to believe it. Without him I was just was just a walking body with no heart as he chose to keep it for himself. I lay my head on the wall of the shower a mist of rain washing over my face. I needed a new start a clean slate but the problem was I didn't know where to start. Well I needed a new apartment somewhere quite but friendly. Friends, I needed those Klay was nice and all but he couldn't relate to my problems as much as a girl could. I was never good at socialising as I was always awkward so I discarded that idea for the time being. I wash my body and hair then get redressed in some joggers and a crop top again. I walked to the window and opened it the light aired in making the room look more lively. I rest my head on the wall looking at the world. It was October, fall, the trees were transitioning kind of like my life. The leaves were falling and all was left was the branches. I could relate honestly all the good that was once given to me fell but except mine wouldn't regrow as easily.

"What am I doing?" I question myself resting my hand on my forehead. For Gods sake I was relating myself to trees. I laugh at the thought. Slowly but surely I was loosing my mind.

"You know that's the first time I've heard you really laugh in a while now." I jump at Klay's voice. He leaned on the door a small smile upon his lips. His brown eyes twinkled with adoration. I blush and look down. "You must find yourself funny I don't see how though, your jokes are terrible." He teases. I jokingly frown.

"Hey!" I yell playfully offended.

"You know I'm only playing with you." He says walking over and holds me by my waist. I lay my head on his chest.

"It's so hard." I whisper pain evident in my voice.

"No one said it would be easy." He says rocking me slightly. I let a small breath escape my lips as I miss everything about the tall light skin man aside from the arguing, the fussing, the cheating, and coming home late he was genuinely a beautiful person that I'm glad I had the pleasure to see.

"Is it wrong that I miss him?" I ask lifting my head up looking at him my chin on his chest.

"No, I think it would be wrong if you didn't." He tells me meeting my eyes.

|Stephen Curry|

I don't why I went over there.

I don't why I hurt her.

I don't know a lot of things but I do know that she's broken and it's all because of me. The pain in her eyes tore me down deeply ripping at the edges of my heart. Her eyes no longer shined, her smile no longer showed, and her happiness could no longer be seen because of me. I want to blame it on the alcohol but I'm the one who lifted the poison to my lips. I liked how it burned and mixed in the streams of my blood. I couldn't stop, not even for the person I loved most. I knew sorry wouldn't fix her but I didn't know what to do. I became worried after that day in practice how she suddenly headed home. Guilt was spread all over my body. Ayesha and I got along well we rarely fight and when we do she always dismisses it and says it's fine. Things were looking up for me. I made her my girlfriend because she distracted me from my guilt and somehow brought happiness from my pain. She could be the one, and I hope Aaliyah finds hers. She's a beautiful girl but is too amazing to deserve someone like me. Ayesha and I discussed getting married I brought it up because I honestly see a future with her and I can't wait to see what it has in store for us.

|Aaliyah|

Laughs were shared all day with Klay. He said his mission was to keep my mind from him and he succeeded. He let me watch Christmas movies even though halloweens in a couple of weeks. My mind was everywhere but him and for once I was genuinely happy.

"Thank you so much Klay." I thank him jumping over from my couch to his tackling him in a hug.

"No problem baby girl." He winks hugging me back. His pet names gets me sometimes. I could practically feel the redness rise up to my cheeks.

"Is someone blushing." His mouth falls open. I cheesed at him and then shake my head no. "We've got a liar on our hands you know what that means." And before I could respond he grabs my hips and lifts me in the air swinging me around.

"Klaaaay." I drag out the A in his name. He chuckles. "I'm getting dizzy." I squealed my hands coming up to my eyes. He abruptly stops and sat me down to the floor. But I can't stand still I wobble on my heels the world spinning before me. I reach out for his shirt as I pull him closer. Leaning my head in his shirt I get a whiff of his cologne. It smelled so good. I practically was inhaling it. He laughs from his throat. I lift my head to look at him. His brown eyes study my face as I look at him.

"What?" I ask his hands grips both side is my face caressing it. His face leaning closer and closer to my lips. His breath fanned over them as I bite them becoming tempted to feel mine against his. I almost make the move when I stop. What was I doing? I wasn't ready for a relationship and I know that is what Klay wants and I don't want to do that if I can't give him what he deserves. He senses my panic and the ends of his mouth goes down forming a frown on his beautiful lips.

"Uh just an eyelash." He mutters gently with his thumb going over a patch of skin just below my eye. I was about to say thanks but he storms off his shoulders slouched and his feet slamming against the tile floor in the hall until I hear a loud slam of the door. I sigh knowing I have to go talk to him. I go to his door and knock softly as there is no response.

"Klay I'm so-"Aaliyah it's nothing it's not your fault I shouldn't have tried to take advantage of you when your such a vulnerable place. When I know your not in the right state of mind to make a decision like that" he interrupts his voice muffled as I'm assuming by his hands. I get slightly offended by what he says. I can make a decision just fine.

"What do you mean I can't make a decision." I state.

"Aaliyah I-"No you did mean it cause you wouldn't have said it if you didn't. If I wanted to kiss you I would have kissed you in the living room but I didn't want to be more confused than I am right now. I don't want to lead you on when I'm not even sure about my own feelings." I interrupt him this time explaining my point. It goes quiet as I hear a light shuffling in the room. The door swings open and Klay towers over me.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you." He apologises.

"It's fine Klay I shouldn't jump so quick and get defensive." I say resting my hand on my forehead as I massage my temples. I didn't need to argue with Klay at the moment and I was glad this wasn't a major one. "Um I'm just gonna go to bed goodnight Klay." I say before walking down the hall.

"Goodnight Aaliyah." I hear faintly before going in my room. I needed to think. Did I like Klay? Or did I like the way he treated me? He didn't give me those same butterflies that would erupt in my stomach as him but he still made me tingle when he talked to me. I wasn't sure about what I felt for him I always looked at him as a big brother but right now I'm having second thoughts. I didn't want to be quick to jump into no relationship as I've just gotten out of one. Yet I hate to think that I find out later that I have feelings for Klay and then he moves on with someone else. I needed time to heal and I just needed a friend right now and I only could hope Klay could understand that.