Joker and Harley one shots! (suicide squad)

The devils got your number

Just a fluffy short story
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Harley sat perched on her bed, leaning against the headboard and eating chips. She didn't know what to do since her Puddin left to take care of business. Her social life depended on him.

She sighed and stared at the tv, it wasn't on, but what else is she supposed to do?

Just then, her phone started vibrating against her hip. She smiled and pulled it out, knowing who it was already since she doesn't really talk to anyone else.

"Helloooo?" She cooed into the phone.

"HARLEY!" He boomed, making her jump back and hold the phone a bit further.

"Do we have any garlic?!" He said urgently.

She furrowed her brows in confusion. "Um...no, I don't think so." She said gently, not really wanting him to hang up just yet. She loved talking to him.

"Hm. Well go to the store and get some, and while your at it, get a FUCKING STAKE AND HOLY WATER CAUSE BATSY IS APPARENTLY AN IMMORTAL VAMPIRE OR SOMETHING." He yelled angrily. She could tell by the way he was talking that he was driving.

She giggled and shifted a little to get comfortable.

"Is he giving you a hard time pud?" She cooed, smiling.

There was a muffled grunt in the background followed by what sounded like a fist hitting the car somewhere. He must've been pretty pissed.

"Aw puuuuuddin it's ok! Atleast now you'll get to play with him a bit longer!" She said trying to cheer him up.

"Yeah I guess." He grumbled, one hand on the wheel and the other on his phone.

"Maybe you need to take a load off, huh?" She said softly, twirling her hair around her finger.

His breath hitched a little. "And what do you mean by that?"

She realized that what she said could have been taken in more than one way, and she had no clue what to do.

"Uhm....uh....what do you want it to mean?" She asked nervously.

He looked at the phone like it was stupid. "Uh. I don't fucking know Harley I was just asking, sheesh." He snapped.

She could feel herself blushing, and he wasn't even there. And out of pure bravery, she decided to take it up a notch.

"Puddin..." She purred, tracing her finger on her pillow.

He sighed into the phone. "What." He said scooting up in his seat.

"What would you do if i was there?" She asked seductively. She could already feel herself getting excited.

He laughed and gripped the wheel tighter. "W-what do you mean?! I'd fucking drive! Or else I'd actually die." He said sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes. "Be nice." She said while putting him on speaker and sitting up.

He heard the blankets rustling in the background. "What are you doing?" He asked quickly, his eyes darting around for somewhere to park.

She giggled and started pulling her clothes off slowly. "Noooothing." She cooed, slipping her panties off and flinging them to the floor.

"Oh it's something." He purred, pressing the phone between his shoulder and ear so that he could pull over on the side of the dark highway road.

"Just thinkin' of you Puddin." She cooed, now completely naked, and leaning over the phone, ready for what he has to offer.

"Oh yeah? Is that what my baby is doing?" He growled, setting the phone down on speaker, and undoing his belt.

"Yeah!" She all but moaned. He knew it was fake because he hasn't even done anything yet, but he appreciated the gesture.

"And how might you be thinking of me?" He purred, running one of his hands up his trouser clad thigh, and back down again.

She smirked and ran her fingers down her side. "I like ta imagine your long, pale fingers deep inside me." She breathed, closing her eyes and actually imagining this.

He growled under his breath and shifted his hips a little. His pants becoming uncomfortably tight.

"Maybe that can be arranged." He purred, squeezing his upper thigh. "I'll be there in 3 minutes tops." He growled, before hanging up.

She squealed in excitement and waited for him to come home.