The Sky is Always Greener

Everyone tells you at a young age to believe in the stars and magic. As an adult you learn it's all bullshit while you're sober. Intoxicated, you're in a different reality. It's ecstasy without taking it. You're for once free of the outside and are able to let your dreams become. That one girl you always wanted to speak to. Your ears are on fire and your heart is in your slightly scuffed shoes. You give it a go and say she's the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen. Before you know it you're either 5 years down and married or 5 drinks thrown on you. You wouldn't have known without. The problem comes in when you can't stand reality without some substance. Here is where our friend comes. Ben. Just Ben. Not short for Benny or Benard. Nothing, just Ben. Ben is average height, brown curly hair, bright hazel eyes, and a rough start to a beard. He's at the point where he hates the reality in front of him. He goes through the day begging for a reason to blow his head off. So many things could trigger him except he spares himself with the love of his life. Cocaine. 8 Ball, White Girl, The Good Stuff, or whatever you want to call it. It's what gets him through the day. Why would a decent looking man dread his life so? Well it started at his company's Christmas party is where they were introduced. It was like a damn high school bathroom filled with grown ass men doing lines off the sink. Ben looked around trying not to show his unfamiliarity. Inside he's panicking. His hands are dripped sweat on the ground. He wipes them on his pockets and his phone falls to the floor. "Fuck". Slow motion, every man turned in his direction. He cracked an awkward smile as he picked it up. "Hey uh, guys". He spoke shakenly. Before he could blink, Jackson ran him into the wall with his hand around his throat. Ben's body froze and he tried not to swallow. Jackson wasn't someone he could take. This dude is huge. Even has huge eyes that burn through your skull. "Are you trying to take pictures? Huh? I'll fucking kill you!" He barked. Ben mustarded up the words "Nah man. I I just came to use the restroom. That's all." Jackson breaks out in laughter and others follow. He releases Ben and he stands still not to make any sudden moves. "Sorry man. Never know who's watching since most of us do blow here." Jackson explains. Ben loosens up and turns toward the door. "Hey! Didn't you have to use the bathroom?" a random voice says. "Oh, uh no I'm good." Ben says on his way out. "Hold up" Jackson slams the door closed. "You're not leaving without hitting a line". "Oh, I'm good. I don't partake but I would say anything" "I know you won't because you won't be leaving without you taking a line". He clinches his fist and the others tense up. Ben's eyes are small, his body is clammy. It's either that or fight all these men. Which he wouldn't even get passed Jackson. He walks over to the sink and stares at all the smudged lines. "I don't know guys. Look, I swear I won't tell a soul" he pleads. Two guys grab him and bring him to his knees. Jackson grabs his hair and brings his nose to a half gone line. He presses it down and drags his face across the cold marble sink. Ben tried not to inhale but during the moment he got one good sniff. Jackson throws him on the ground and Ben darts out of the bathroom. His suit is wrinkled. His hair is a mess. His face is covered in white powder. He quickly wipes his face realizing he was back out in the main party. His mind is going 100 miles a second. All he wants to do is leave. But of course that's too easy. Every person stops him and asks if he is okay. His skin is flushed and his nose is blood red. Each hand is shaking differently and his breathing is one of an asthmatic. "I'm fine. I just need to leave" he pushes through. He's trying to get home before anything happens. Ben doesn't do extreme drugs just smokes a blunt on the weekends and sometimes during the week. He feels his chest getting tight as he frantically searches for his car. His adrenaline is pumping. Everything is spinning and everything is seen from like a cone view. After finding his car, the only blue car there, he stabs his key in and takes off. He's swerving down the road. Trying his best not to succumb to the effects. They're slowly coming on. His body feels numb and out of fear he bites his hand. He just wants to feel himself. The hand is still numb and the bite was so rigid he's bleeding. Blood drips on the leather seats of his deep navy blue Dodge Challenger. His head starts to bob. He actually doesn't live too far away but to him it's taking hours. He believes he can make it home before the high is at its peak. The stop light flicks yellow and he speeds up. Before he is by the line it strikes red but he keeps going. Right before he crosses the road, a black Tahoe rams the back of his car. He spins and flies to the light pole. Really only that hurt him, besides a few cuts, was the airbags as it threw his head back. He climbs out of the back window. He looks at his hands all bloodied. A sharp ring is piercing his left ear. As he holds it, he looks around desperately for help. No one around except the Tahoe. A voice breaks the ringing in agonizing pain. "Please" they muttered. Ben makes his way over and starts to pull apart pieces of the truck that he could. It's a man trapped inside. A large portion of the windshield soared right in his throat. This man is dying and Ben is struggling to stay awake. "I'll call someone! Just hold on man. Shit. Yeah! I need help.. I'm not sure what street just track my location! .. OK..Ok.. They're on their way just hold on." "What?" "Wait I don't think you should talk. Blood is spraying everywhere! Oh fuck". At this point Ben's high is peaked. He lies down beside the guy. The guy is begging and reaching to touch him but Ben doesn't hear a thing. A few moments later, he hears the sirens but only turns his head enough to see them. He doesn't move. He turns back to look at the guy. His eyes are closed. Ben looks to the sky. As the EMTs rushed over to grab him and attempt to remove the guy, Ben's eyes never leave from the sky. They're screaming questions at him but he doesn't answer. They flip the truck over and remove the lifeless guy. That was the only time Ben moved or spoke. "God bless" and then closed his eyes.