Beautifully Insane

Chapter Seven

    Dr. Rosario gave me a couple of outfits to choose from for the funeral that begins in less than two hours. My choices were limited, but I had to make them work. There was no way I was missing the funeral. I picked a plan, spaghetti-strap, black dress with a sweater and flats on my feet. Dr. Rosario observed me as I applied some light make-up on myself. I looked in the mirror in disbelief that I had a good friend who always had my back and now, in about two hours, I would have to bury her. "Meet me at the door," Dr. Rosario instructed, "I will go put the make-up back."
I nodded and humbly approached the staircase.
    Stepping down from the last step of the staircase, my eyes fixated themselves on Roy. He made my blood boil. This was all his fault. Without him, Jan would be alive today. I wanted to rip him apart into little pieces, but I knew well enough this wasn't the time for retaliation. Roy came up to me. He touched my face with the corner of his pointer finger. "Going to bury Jan?" Roy asked as he knew I wouldn't loose my temper and risk the ability to go to Jan's funeral.
"It's your fault that I am."
Roy smiled slyly. He moved his finger down my neck and down my shoulder, "If it makes you feel any better, I was thinking about you when I was forcing myself deep inside her."
My stomach turned as I felt as if I was going to be sick. This disgusting pig! Shelly shouted.
I was pulled away from him. "You are done here," I heard a sweetly rough voice tell Roy sternly.
I let go of my breath as I felt safe. Roy glared at Mitch coldly as he went past us to go up the stairs. Mitch looked at me, "Are you alright?"
"I think so," I answered uneasily.
Mitch put the corner of his finger against the side of my eye, catching the year that escaped my eyelid. "Don't cry anymore, it pains me," Mitch stated.
I smiled warmly. I leaned over to his ear and whispered, "Murder."
Hoping Mitch knew that I was answering his question from a few days ago, we heard Dr. Rosario interrupt us as she hurried down the stairs. "Excuse me!"
Dr. Rosario grabbed my wrist and led me to the main door powerfully. Dr. Rosario's grip started to hurt me as she dragged me out of the building as she marched towards the state cruiser parked a few feet ahead of us. She opened the door to the backseat and she shoved me in without a word. I watched her get into the passenger's seat. Why she doesn't like Mitch is personal, not moral, I observed as I could feel Dr. Rosario's sensation of hatred and hesitation.
     The officer turned the engine over and slowly pulled out of the driveway of Angelwood Asylum. I studied Dr. Rosario as the wind blew through mg hair by the cracked opened windows. Maybe she has some bolts loose up there, Charlie suggested.
"Why don't you like Mr. Wright?" I asked her.
Dr. Rosario coughed on her coffee as she was taking a large sip. "Are you kidding?"
"It's obvious that you don't like him because he is a cold blooded killer, but because of something more personal."
Dr. Rosario glowered taciturnly through the rear view mirror. "Say one more word and you will be punished."
I think she just threatened you, Shelly reported.
I put my face up to the metal divisor behind Dr. Rosario's ear and whispered, "You don't scare me."
     The officer parked the white and navy blue car on the side of the narrow cemetery road. The officer opened the door for me as Dr. Rosario stayed in the car. I was guided to a red tent that stood between headstones. There weren't many people who arrived to the funeral I found out. The priest, and older man who was being held by a cane which could well be Jan's grandfather, an elderly couple surrounded by a tall man with two toddlers hanging on the sides of his pant legs. Are those Jan's parents? I wondered. I'm probably the only one out of the seven of us who actually cared about Jan.
The officer gave me a flower for when it was time to put them on top of the dark wooden casket. I felt eyes burning holes into my skin by the man sitting next to his wife. The man is either recognized me from the news, is curious to know who I am, or is a pervert. The priest closed the Bible in his hands and took a step back for the people who arrived to the funeral to say their final goodbyes. The man with the cane wobbled over to the casket to place his flower down. I waited for the elderly couple, who I suspected to be Jan's parents, to get up from their seats. I put my flower down as I made eye contact with them, "Are you Jan's parents?"
"No," the woman answered crudely short.
Liar. "Every day she thought you would come back for her," I explained. The elderly man's face filled with sorrow as it looked like he was fighting back tears, wanting to listen to more of what I had to say. "She never gave up on you, you gave up on her and tried to replace her and her memory," I added while looking at their son standing in back of them with his children.
Their eyes filled with tears of shame. The young man pulled his father back a step, "Get away from her! She's a murder."
I looked at the man's children. Both boys dressed in tuxes and had bright green eyes and brown hair like the father. "Don't make the same choices your parents made with your sister," I advised the man before heading back to the car. I saw Dr. Rosario get off of her phone as the officer and I approached the car. What was she going to do to me exactly? I wondered.
    The closer we got back to the asylum, the more anxious I grew. I could tell Dr. Rosario had something up her sleeve, but I couldn't tell what it was. Don't worry about it. I'm sure her idea of punishment will be taking away your books for a week or two, Shelly assured me.
    The car stopped and Dr. Rosario got out of the front seat. She opened my door for me. She was being gentle all of a sudden and I didn't like it. Maybe she some bolts in that head of hers are loose. Once we entered the asylum, Dr. Rosario looked at me kindly, "Go get something comfy on."
I cautiously went upstairs as I could feel Dr. Rosario watching me closely.
    Opening my bedroom door after putting some sweatpants and a T-shirt on, I was startled by Dr. Rosario's unexpected presence. "I want to show you something," Dr. Rosario told me.
"I was just going to get something to eat," I explained to her as I could sense the she was eager.
I nodded and began to follow. She led me down the grand stairs and towards the right side of the building.      Dr. Rosario stopped at a metal door that said 'employees only' in bold, black letters that stood beside a door that allowed patients in and out of the gardening room. I glanced at her unsteadily. Don't go in there, Charlie ordered me.
"I'll wait here," I told Dr. Rosario as I didn't need to be told twice to not go inside as Dr. Rosario pulled out her key ring with at least twenty different keys dangling down.
"Nonsense," Dr. Rosario smiled as she opened the door after finding the correct key to unlock it.
I saw narrow stairs going down into a sheet of darkness. I took a step back, turning away from Dr. Rosario, "I should be going."
Dr. Rosario took a fist full of my blond hair and pulled me towards the stairs. I lost my footing and tumbled down the stairs. The tapping of heels against the wooden stairs echoed inside my head as I opened my eyes while stunned. Dr. Rosario lifted me up. As the single light hanging from the ceiling flickered on, I discovered a bed dressed in white sheets with straps on the edges next to a small, white, ECT box with little levers and triggers. My eyes widened as I placed my heels of my feet into the ground pulling back. I knew in movies you would see this type of ancient method being used, I never actually thought it was still around today.
Kill her! Charlie and Shelly both ordered with a shout.
I scoped out the room as I was being dragged against my will to the bed that must have witness a thousand fatal acts of punishment. Dr. Rosario fought to strap my legs in after she had slammed my forehead into the edge of the white metal frame of the bed. I eyed Dr. Rosario as she strapped my head against the bed. I giggled as I saw the satisfaction in her dark blue eyes. "You get off on this don't you?" I asked.
Dr. Rosario flashed a canny smile in my direction as she turned the machine on. Dr. Rosario pulled out a mouth guard from her pocket.
"You should be in here with the rest of us," I stated.
"I washed the blood of for you," Dr. Rosario notified me, "open wide."
I kept my mouth shut. Dr. Rosario pinched my nose together until I needed air. When Dr. Rosario got what she wanted, she shoved the mouth guard into my mouth. Dr. Rosario picked up the ECT electrodes attached to the small box that vibrated against the wall and held them close to each side of my head. I gripped the sheets in tight fists, making my knuckles turn white as I was preparing for the agony I knew I was going to endure in the matter of seconds. "Are you afraid of me now?" Dr. Rosario challenged.
I shook my head as I wanted to confront her that she was a coward who uses machines to torture her victims instead of her own bare hands and creativity. Dr. Rosario pressed the two electodes against the sides of my heads, sending hundred of watts into my body. My back arched, lifting my chest slightly up in the air as I winced. Kill her! Charlie and Shelly ordered over and over again.
I wanted to switch places with her and make her encounter the pain ten times as much. She pulled away as my ears began to ring violently. "How about now?"
I shook my head once more, unsure if my body allowed the command under the circumstances. In the corner of my eye, I saw her turn the knob. She's adding more? I asked myself.
I picked at the strap that held my right arm down with my fingers. My hands were to shaky for the tight straps. I quickly felt the heat and then the electricity. I screamed through my clenched jaw. Chatlie and Shelly were screaming bloody murder, begging Dr. Rosario to stop. She was hurting them. I couldn't do anything but lay lifeless in this bed. Their shrill screechings became louder than my own, masking my cried as if I haven't been making any noise. I spit the mouth guard out of my mouth. "Stop!" I puled, "you're hurting them!"
"They are nothing more than voices in your head due to your schizophrenia," Dr. Rosario revealed the dark truth.
I shook my head, "No!"
"Yes!" Dr. Rosario's voice projected to cover mine.
"No!" I shouted in disbelief, loosing all strength I had to keep my eyes open.