My mind more numb
Than my soul
She's dancing with a silhouette
Of a girl who used to know me
Before the me I used to know
Was drowned out of me
By a man who didn't even know me
The thought of him gives me
The feeling of suffocation
But I didn't even know
That I could breathe
That I could defeat this
Monster of a man
Just by forgiving myself
When I feel pity for myself
I let him win the battle
I've been fighting for almost five years.
I won't let you know
how many tissues I've been through
Just dreaming, nightmares
Shake up my life
When I could just muster up the might to let myself live with it and tell myself I'm strong
But instead I blame myself
I tell myself "You did this to yourself"
When he was the one who held his hands on me like I was his own.
No, I don't belong
Not to anyone
But especially not someone who thinks he's so pretentious he can push a girl against the wall and touch them as he pleases.
I want no pity
I just want no longer to be chained to an action that I couldn't control
An action that one could freeze as cold as ice
Under the pressure to do something to defend themselves
That's what I did
I was frozen
Shocked because I thought all my life
No one had the capability
Of doing something this wrong and this sad
Onto another
I wonder if he ever thinks about what he's done
Because while I think about him ruining my vision of people
He thinks he was doing me a favor
Thank God I never saw his face
Because I'd take you down in the courtroom
And you'd be a damned disgrace
Why does no one pay attention to us?
The assaulted, the raped?
Do they not care only because they've not experienced what it's like?
To relive it in your dreams
To cry yourself to sleep
To wake up crying
To not trust people
To hate people
To hate yourself
Sufferers are strong,
But they have so much to digest
They have different ways of handling pain
We feel alone
We feel like no one understands how it feels to be interpreted wrongly,
Yes and not NO!
But there are others
Others who sulk and regret walking in the door
Or walking home alone
It's your temple,
You decide what touches and who,
Tomorrow is a new day,
You decide to fret over the past
Or think about today,
Our struggle is a tree
Every branch symbolizes a nightmare
Every leaf symbolizes a negative thought
A thought back on that cursed moment
Years of therapy
Years of waiting
And flashbacks
Waiting for it to get better
Feeling lament for all the time you've wasted feeling this way
Your boundaries push people away
Only the ones who truly love you stay
It's a broken puzzle
We pick up
Piece by piece
Our tears go unnoticed
And our pleading hearts
Ask for forgiveness
From who?
We don't need it
We're lost on a path we've
been misguided by the scarred arms of someone who's too weak too do anything other than hurt other people
So we over think
Think think think
But we are not Hollow,
For we are so much more powerful than we think
Because we fight against our thoughts every single second of the day
We are not broken
We got up
We just need to put our puzzle pieces together
One step at a time
