Will I survive?

May 15

Dear Journal or Diary whatever you want to be called,

I mean it's whatever right? All I need is a way to vent, a way to get all this frustration and destructive feelings out of my system. Ever felt like you can't escape reality? Like everything is crashing down yet it isn't? It's like someone or something is out to get you?

Of course you haven't you're a notebook.

Honestly I have no clue how this is going to work ...

lately I've been feeling empty. Empty of any emotions.

I have had these breakdowns. I'll just start crying ,and my heart feels like it's getting tighter and tighter until gradually it feels like it'll break into a million little pieces. To the point where I won't be able to mend it back together.

Why? Well I ask myself this same question everytime. Everytime i feel down, everytime I have one of my breakdowns, whenever it feels like I'm alone in this cruel cruel world.

Nothing is wrong though ,that's my problem right there.

You're probably wondering why I feel like this right? Am I right? Well that's easy........not. Everyone has issues, you probably think you don't ,not all of you, but some of you. Well that's most likely why I'm writing this.

I have issues.

I'll admit it. Very bad issues, ways of thinking that will definitely not help me. Then what's the point! I don't get it. Why am I wasting my damn time writing in this thing! I could go end my miserable thinking right now. But maybe.....

Maybe I'm looking for a way out....... A way to save myself.

A way to reassure myself that there's so much out there for myself. That if I give up now I'd be missing out on so much. That I can make something of myself. Make my family proud and feel like I've accomplished something.

But my question is am I strong enough? Strong enough to withstand all the difficutlies life has ,is ,and will throw at me?

..........Will I survive?