Tears overflowed from eyes. I hated allowing them to see my tears. I hated allowing them to get to me.
But I couldn't help it this time. I couldn't hold back my tear. I couldn't his it any longer.
"So your going to cry now you bitch" said one of the many people who bullied me everyday.
"Your the bitch" I mumbled.
"What was that?!" He yelled and gripped my shirt.
"I called you the bitch" I said once again. I was scared but mad at myself for crying. I wanted him to hit me. I wanted to feel the pain as a punishment.
"Do you think you the shit huh?!" he spat in my face "well you got a rude of a waking coming for yah"
He let me go and walked away with his friends. All the witnesses laughed at me as they passed to go home and I just cried even harder. These people were monsters.
Once everyone got there laugh in I left the school and walked home. Every step made another tear fall. I can't stop crying no matter how much I tried. Simply hated it.
I walked into my house and walked to my room. Nobody was home. I lived with my brother Malik. Our parents died when I was 6. Since then we been moving foster home to foster home. As soon as Malik was 18, he moved out and brought me with him. Im 17. Malik is 28.
I love him the most but he is over protective. I would tell him about the bullies but he has do much to worry about as it is.
After putting my bag in my room then walked to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror to see my eyes were beyond swollen. And I still couldn't stop crying.
So I grabbed my razor and took out a blade. I then traced it over my left wrist so I finally could feel the pain deserved. I took a breath and I finally stopped crying.
I left the blood drip into the sink. And pain my right hand through my naturally curly hair. I took another breath went I heard the front door open and close.
"Maddy are you home" I heard my brother say. And let's say I panicked. He doesn't know I cut myself and he will probably be asking questions because my eyes were so puffy.
"Yeah I'm in the bathroom" I yelled back but I voice cracked a little.
"Madison?" he said knocking on the bathroom door. "Are you okay"
"Fine" I said and locked the door.
"Then open up" he said and I could hear the concern in his voice.
I put a towel over my fresh cut and rinsed out the sink of my blood. There was nothing I could do about my eyes at such short moment.
"Madison what are you doing" he said as I opened the door.
"Chilling" I said.
"In the bathroom?"
"Uhhh yeah I just...... needed to go" I said and gave a fake smile.
"Okay but why do you have a towel on your arm."
"Why not?"
"Then move it from your arm"
"C-Chris... I-I" I stuttered in fear.
"Re-move the towel" he said sternly.
I put my head down and let the towel fall. I heard no more words. It was completely silent for at least 5 minutes.
"Why?" he asked simply.
"I needed to feel the pain" I said lowly.
"Maddy" he said and grabbed my shoulders. "look at me."
I did as told and was met by his eyes. He looked terrified.
"Don't cut yourself" he said "I don't want to lose you Jordan. Your all I have left"
He then pulled me into a hug. I thought he have been mad but he wasn't. He was even more concerned. That's why I loved him. He understood me.
That night I cried again, as I told Malik about the things I was going through. About the bullies and many scars I've been hiding.
He listened to my every word. Hugged me every time I couldn't hold back my tears. He was the only one in this world who still loved me.
The next day I woke up in my brothers arms. I gave him another hug and looked at the time 10:30. I was late for school.
"Malik?" I said said and pat his face. "your late for work and I'm late for school"
"I called work and your school we are having a day off"
I smiled, "what do you have planned."
"You'll have to find that out yourself." He said and walked out my room. "Get dressed"
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