Once More, With Squealing: A Buffy Fanfic

The Lust Temptation of Rupert Giles

He was supposed to be a model of stoicism, setting the others a good example, but since this musical spell had arrived and infected Sunnydale, Giles had found himself hornier than a Chaos demon's cranium. Now it seemed like any innocent thing could send his thoughts plunging down to the sleaziest slimiest dirtiest depths of sexual depravity, from the Olivio spread on his kitchen table (that reminded him of a time with Olivia) to the well-fingered calendar on his desk (that reminded him of many times with Jenny). He'd tried cold shower upon cold shower but all that seemed to do was shrink his 'little librarian' even further, although that was far preferable to giving in to his desires and risk transforming it into a towering inferno.

Now, in the training room at the Magic Box, Giles felt nostalgic as he held a giant piece of wood between his hands, but then Buffy's booted stiletto heel smashed into it, breaking it in two. It seemed to Giles like some strange kind of metaphor.

"Good. Good," he said, as he looked at the shattered plank on the ground, trying to avert his eyes from Buffy and what she was wearing. Yesterday's schoolgirl outfit had been bad enough, but now she sported a red leather outfit that hugged her curves in the very same way that he wanted to. His eyes couldn't resist her, as they slowly swept back up her body, over her fishnet tights, and the sight of her bodice reminded Giles why he used to be called Ripper.

Suddenly Buffy's voice dragged him back out of his perverted thoughts:

"Am I supposed to bow now, or kneel before you… Have honor or something?"

And then he was back to those perverted thoughts once again as the mental image of her kneeling before him sent his imagination reeling. This wasn't like him; he was her Watcher, but lately he was content to just, well, watch her. It was this crazy spell, nobody was acting appropriately anymore. They'd not even batted an eyelid when Buffy had revealed her dalliance with Spike of all people. Giles knew he shouldn't be having these thoughts about his young Slayer, but it seemed impossible to ignore them, to ignore her.

"It may seem hokey," he said, trying to keep his mind on his job, "but we need to work on precision and… and…" he struggled to find the right word as he stared at her breasts, mentally unlacing her top, "...concentration... as much as power. We're still not sure what we're facing."

"You'll figure it out," said Buffy, swinging her long shapely leg up, placing her foot on the pommel horse and stretching her limber body. "I'm just worried this whole session is going to turn into -"

Giles didn't hear the rest of her sentence, his mind was already busy at work, partly wondering if he should replace the pommel horse with a mechanical bull, partly coming up with the many things the training session could turn into, from a sleazy sweaty music video (Let's Get Physical, he mentally sang, and for a moment he was afraid he'd sung it aloud) to a scene from that lesser-known cult classic, Lesbian Spank Inferno: The Musical.

"Well, if that happens," he said, trying to reassure her (though not having heard her, he wasn't really sure about what), "we'll just lie down." He suddenly pictured them on the hard wooden floor together, their bodies entwined. "Until things go back to normal, that is. Anyway, I don't think we need to work too much on fitness, Buff. I mean Buffy."

"Yeah, I'm pretty fit for a corpse," Buffy agreed, as her nubile figure raised into a handstand on the pommel horse.

Giles had to agree, though he was alarmed that the more aroused he got upstairs the less there seemed to be going on downstairs. His posing pouch felt so roomy, and he worried that he'd soon run out of socks.

"Have you, uh, spoken with Dawn at all about the incident at Halloween?" he said, trying to take his mind off his longing.

Buffy jumped off the horse, landing on the ground, though the way she looked she deserved to land on a pedestal, if only so he could admire her more. "I thought you took care of that," she replied.