Internet Fear

The internet. Thats my life. If it doesn't involve opening a new tab, then I'm not interested. I mean, what’s the point of talking to people in real life? Your just going to mess up. At least on the internet, you get the chance to think, read through and delete your answer if it sounds crap. And you can add anything you like, like your interests and no-one will question you. Life is just so much simpler. Like take Facebook for example. You can see what people are thinking and they can see what you are doing and thinking. It is so much better than wasting your breath on talking to someone. Also if you have a bad hair day, it doesn't matter because no-one can see you. I tell everyone I use it to talk to overseas relatives, but that is just a cover story. I really use it for boy stalking. That is what got me into trouble and life threatening situations. Oh, how rude of me. My name is Jasmine. I'm 18, and nothing special. I have average length ginger hair, pale blue eyes and and very pasty skin. Mum says its because I never leave my room, but I just think its because there is no sun in Ullswater. There is more rain then sun, but that is to be expected in the UK. I've never left Ullswater. I barely leave my room. But on the one occasion I did, it was because my cousin told me about her best friend called Cole. Of course I Facebook searched him, and found out all about him. We were into the lost of the same stuff like music. We both love Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Twin Atlantic. He lived in York, so it was quite a long journey away, but me and the cousin which I knew quite well planned to take the train down to York, and spend the day stalking Cole, and get him to talk to us. Little did we know stupid the idea was. We were going to spend a few days talking to his mates and surfing Facebook to see where he was going to be and when. It looked complicated but we managed it. Anyway, more about that later.

I have been home schooled ever since I could read. My mother said I was never very sociable as a toddler, and I got into a lot of fights and arguments, so she wasn't going to risk the damage I would do and receive in Primary school. My mum sat me down at the kitchen table and introduced me to my tutor called Oliver. He was on old man with greyish brownish hair typed back with a rubber band, He had mud brown eyes and grey skin. He was boring, with a monotone voice. I begged my mum to change tutors but her reply was always the same

'If you want a normal tutor, go to normal school. He teaches in a less conventional way yes, but he gets to the point.' This answer annoyed me, because there was anything I could say to it. I didn't want to go to normal school, so I guessed I was stuck with Oliver. Everything changed on that one day when my cousin Oriana came down. We were about 10 when she first visited. She told me all about her home in York, and about her friends and her school. It was quite a boring visit, but it was great to see her. She introduced me to Facebook. I had heard my friends talking about it, but I never bothered to look at it. She signed me up and I was hooked. My mum had to literally drag me away from the laptop every time it was bedtime. My mum confiscated the laptop about 50 times during the course of a year. When I was 11, my mum pretty much altered my life for the worst. I had always been an only child, and was sometimes lonely, but I also didn't like other children, as I mentioned earlier. My mum told me she was adopting a little girl. She was 7 years old and had the the most fantastic brown skin and black braided hair. I was fascinated by her slight African accent. She sounded so lovely to listen to. The only down side about adopting Heidi, was that she had to share my room. My room was dark green, and everything matched and was untidy, which was just the way I liked it. Heidi wanted her room to be bubblegum pink with purple fairy lights and all clean and tidy. It was horrible. I begged mum to let her stay in the spare room, but my mother said it would be good for me to have company, but I think it was just her excuse to get me off the laptop and Facebook, twitter and bebo. It didn't work though. It just made me use it even more. I would use it to talk to people about things I didn't want Heidi hearing, like how infuriating she was because she was always so sugar sweet to my parents. It drove me insane. I had the attitude of a teenager, my favourite words being 'I hate you' or 'you're ruining my life!' My mother never took kindly to those words as she found them 'rude and disrespectful to my elders' as she put it. I always found those carefully chosen words always described my feelings perfectly. I liked my parents, yet I always felt like they didn't care, and I was a disappointment to them. It never bothered me though, as I worked hard on it.