All i hear is that I'm doing it wrong or I'm gonna fuck up.
I go from sunshine phase to deathly gaze.
Staring at a wall because in my head it's a maze.
Every day I'm dodging bullets but they always graze me.
Sometimes i sit and think that I'm just straight up crazy.
Im filling my pockets in my skin with countless words counting every sin.
Cut a new pocket cause the rest don't have a lid.
The words swim out screaming like : I just wish i could be a kid .
and fix my falls.
But i can't.
I just crawl;
Cause my legs are broken.
I can't even swim by myself I'm choking.
But at least if i drown i know i won't be awoken.
Tokens by tokens stroking down my arm while he's provoking.
I dug up my own grave.
My arm twitching and it won't behave.
My feelings need to get laid.
Cause the stacks of pain feels way different from being paid.
I'm a renegade but i start to late.
To fight what i need to fight.
And make what is wrong right..
But in the end i find myself in the middle of the night hoping the choking gets me without a fright.
Right now its not scaring me.
The loud words are louder than anyone else can hear.
The words cut deeper than it appears.
Advice won't help me but I'm all ears.
I like to disappear and stare at a wall.
Fall back into my shadow and let it do it all.
Sometimes a break is not enough.
Especially when the break you need is from yourself.
