Yes, Ma'am

Its raining men

Lord M's POV

They had returned from their outing, the Queen hurriedly greeting me and guiding me to one of the drawing rooms. No sign of the youngest Coburg. I gestured for her to sit and was about to speak when I heard the door open.
Victoria jumped to her feet.
'Albert?!.' Her voice rising in surprised
'Victoria. I need to talk to you,' he sent me a glance 'Alone.'
I took the hint.
Getting up slowly, steadying myself on the chair, I decided I would wait for Albert to depart.
Outside the room, I thought long and hard about my future. I was old and I had little left for me except the Queen. When Caroline left me it took a long time for me to get over it, as when my darling boy died. But Caroline's reasons still resonate, I wasn't enough. I am not enough for Victoria either. But I am old. And I only live once.
So I should try to be.
When I die, Victoria will move on, but should I not allow myself time and love and the goodness that life stole from me young. Carpe Diem, M. If ever there was a time more appropriate for the saying, it was now. Seize the day.
So I did.
I burst right through those doors. See Albert I can do that too.

Victoria's POV.

'Right, Albert... What?'
I must say, I did not expect that. He just burst right back in there? He kind of frightened me a bit.
'Lord M? What are you doing?' Somehow sounding normal, I said.
'What?.. Oh.. Right. I'm damning society and doing what I truly want.'
'And that is?'
He ignored me which I really wasn't used to. It made me feel most petulant, though only fleetingly, due to the fact I was greatly intrigued by it all.
'Albert. Outside.'
He wants Albert... I wasn't expecting that... But then... What was I expecting? Stupid Victoria..
Unfortunately, I didn't actually realise I was voicing these thoughts until I saw Lord M blushing slightly in a pose one may only call 'face palm' and Albert looking very confused.
Taking sympathy with me, Lord M gave something a bit to vague to be an explanation.
'This does have a point, Ma'am' before he went on to mumble 'I hope you will permit it.'

Lord M's POV

I dragged the pretty boy outside.
'What is the meaning of this?'
'This..' And I punched him. Straight across the face. For a man who had done nothing his entire life, it felt good to do something worthwhile.
On cue, the Queen let out a short prompt squeal, in obvious admiration for myself.
The man-boy staggered to his feet and made a lunge for me which I dodged.
Feeling quite proud I turned to wave at Her Majesty only to find the bastard had jumped on my back. I threw him forwards and we circled each other, occasionally attempting a blow. And then.
I charged.
He was ahead and we were going towards the lake. He was cornered. I grabbed him over my shoulder and chucked him in. Laughing I let my guard down.
I lost sight of him.
At first I though I had killed him, but then I saw the bubbles.
The Bubbles.
The only problem was the water was too turbid to make out the silhouette, till the boy pulled me in.
We were both floundering for air in the waist high water. I discarded my waistcoat and submerged. Now it was his turn to be worried.
I re emerged directly in front of his dainty countenance and landed a couple of uppercuts. The blood spurting from his nose and the cut on my lips tasting of iron.

Victoria 's POV

They are such children, what point does this have?
They did look quite funny splashing around.
Finally they ceased after what seemed like an eternity of flopping in fish remains.
M was, for the most part, unscathed, though I wish I could say the same for Albert.
His face was bloodied, his nose somehow more crooked and he had pondweed draped across his now drab hair and in his moustache.
Stifling a laugh, I saw how bad Albert really was.
Why would dear Lord M do this? He... Hurt him...
And then I saw the smirk. Oh... Snap.

'Well then, children, what was this precious point? The cause for this demonstration?'
The smirk dropped.
'No. Stop. I don't care. Goodbye Lord M. You may leave.'
'Your Majesty.'
And then the other one smirked.
'Albert!'
And I grabbed M by the collar and slapped them both across the face.
'Petulant! Children!'
And, as if he didn't get the message, he tried to pull me back.
'Victoria, Ma'am.'
You say Ma'am I say knee. And it went right to the groin.