Crave

- NINE -

Stacy P.O.V.

One month. Thirty days. Seven hundred twenty hours. That's how long it had been since Kurt had left to return home. I'm not even going to lie. I was miserable without him near me. We talked on the phone every night and sometimes during the day. Some of our phone calls got pretty raunchy, but they weren't enough to fill our cravings for each other.

We had learned a lot about each other though and I'm not ashamed to admit that I had fallen completely head-over-heels in love with Kurt Strong. My heart had told me from the start that it wouldn't take me long to fall in love with him and boy was I love-sick. We'd made plans to meet up next month, when Kurt had a break in his schedule, but that was still weeks away. I didn't know how I would survive the wait.

It had gotten so bad in the last week or so, that I'd gotten physically ill about it, several times. That's how much I missed him. Now I woke up to the smell of bacon and I moseyed my way into the kitchen, where I found Gloria piling eggs, bacon, and toast onto two plates. I plopped down on a barstool and asked, "What's the occasion? You never cook unless someone dies." I gasped, "Did someone die?"

She gave me a long look, "Nobody died, geez, but you've got to snap out of it. I want my best friend back. This zombie version of you has got to go. You're making me depressed right along with you."

I sighed, "I know. I'm sorry. I just miss him."

"Then you need to get your ass in the car and drive to see him. It's as simple as that. You're your shit and move there, if that's what you want to do. First, though, you need to eat. Don't think I haven't noticed how little you've been eating and you're not quiet when you puke. You're going to waste away. I know you love the guy, but no guy is worth starving yourself." She scolded and handed me a plate.

I dug into the delicious food and muttered, around a piece of bacon, "It's not that simple. I can't just pick up and leave. What about the bistro?"

Gloria rolled her eyes, "No offense, but it's a bistro, Sister. It will either survive without you or it won't. Honestly, if you miss him that bad, then you truly do need to close up your life here and just move to be with him. That's what I'd do."

"You honestly think I should?" I asked, wide-eyed and a little scared of just picking up and moving.

Gloria shrugged, "I'd miss the hell out of you, but you can't continue as is and I think the only thing that will fix you is if you get to see Kurt every day. He can't move, as easily as you can. There are other bistros in the world or you could go to school for something that you actually want to do for a change. Maybe culinary school? You're a fucking fabulous baker. You could open up your own bakery and stop making minimum wage at a rundown bistro."

"I don't know." I felt queasy at the thought. In fact, I felt very queasy. For some reason my eyes were suddenly drawn to the layer of grease on my plate underneath the bacon and I had to run to the bathroom, where I lost everything I'd just eaten.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were pregnant." Gloria said, bringing me a wet wash rag for my face.

"Pregnant, that's..." Shit. I had been about to say that it was impossible, but it was actually very possible. I mean, I'd heard of people getting pregnant on the pill before and we'd had unprotected sex, several times, in fact, before he'd had to return home. I just realized that I'd missed my last period as well. "Shit, Gloria. What if I am?"

Her eyes widened, but then she took charge, "Alright, don't panic. First, get yourself cleaned up. I'm heading to the drug store for a pregnancy test. I'll be back in fifteen."

I began to dry heave, with nothing left in my stomach. The more I thought about it, the more I knew I was pregnant. Shit. What would Kurt say? Would he be happy or would he run for the hills? Our relationship had been a whirlwind anyway and now, if a baby was involved, it would speed up that much more. I couldn't be a mother. What did I know about being a mom? I was frantically playing out scenarios in my head when Gloria returned with a bag full of tests.

"Jesus, Gloria." I muttered, as I got up off the floor and then brushed my teeth. Feeling marginally better from that small gesture.

"What? I couldn't just buy one, what if it was defective. So I bought one of every kind they sold. Now, I thought I told you to get yourself cleaned up!" Gloria lectured and handed me the first test.

By the time I was finished, I was sitting in the middle of my bed, crying, with a slew of positive pregnancy tests all around me. "What am I going to do?" I wailed.

"For starters, you are going to take a nap. You'll feel better about things after you get some rest, but first, eat this toast. Slowly or you'll throw it up too." Gloria instructed and stood watch until the toast was gone. Then she tucked me into bed, just as my cell phone began to ring. She grabbed it and told me, "Don't worry about it. I'll answer it and tell whomever it is that you're sick. Now sleep!"

Doing as I was told, I closed my eyes and surprisingly sleep consumed me quickly. I dreamed of diapers and crying babies. I dreamed of cooing and rubber duckies. Throughout the dream I felt a mixture of emotions, but the strongest was pure joy at being a mother. The only problem with the dream is that Kurt was nowhere to be seen. So while my fear of becoming a mother had diminished in my dream state, my fear that the father would stick around only increased.