Simon Minter Imagine

I Won't Let Go.

Imagine the sky is grey with clouds hanging over the town like thick puffs of smoke. You're sitting in the window will with your head leant against the glass pane, staring out into the ongoing street of people who carry on their way, unaware of anyone they have or may encounter. Your eyes trip over their clothes to their heads and then onto the next, repeating the process for every one that catches your eye. It's a terrible thing that can happen to some of us, abandonment is. But the strangest thing about the matter is that we can be surrounded by numerous people who compile and confess their love and care to us, yet when the time hits where you need their love and support the most it vanishes like dust thrown to the cursive winds of a tempest.

You're broken from your thoughts as a tiny pea of rain flicks the window you're resting against. Panning around the large and mostly empty room, you see that the clock reads the 12:07, hardly any progress of the long day ahead. The bed is still unmade with clothes strewn across it, pouring onto the surrounding floor. The nest of blankets makes it clear how much time you spend there, alone and without desire. It's a struggle just to summon up the energy to command yourself to walk across the room to pick up the clothes and slide them out of your arms and into the hamper. The sound of your feet shuffling across the waves of black that are engrained within the wooden floor beneath you have become slow and labored over the weeks and months of feeling like everything is a fight, over the weeks and months of the desire to finally rest again, over the weeks and months of begging for things to be back to the way they used to be.

Dropping back onto the bed you happen to look up and see your reflection in the large vanity across the room. You gaze into the now tired and seemingly soulless eyes that look back, lacking any feeling. This is what you are now, what you've become. A recluse who stays locked away in a room all day, barely leaving for food, living in your own sty of a poor excuse for comfort, and pushing away any of those who may actually have that concern that they've all previously pledged to have but failed to deliver. If it weren't for any of the technological sources to the outside world or any of those that keep track of what the day and time is, it would see to you that there is no outside and that this is a dungeon where you are forced to spend your time.

With the energy your mind allows you, you rise and walk to the door, placing your hand on the knob. Such a small motion takes so much to do. Taking a deep and empty breath and releasing it into a hollow sigh, you turn the knob until the releasing click of the lock snaps across the room. From outside comes the sounds of the shuffling of someone's feet and the sliding across the smoothly painted wall as if someone had been waiting. As if it were instinct, you take your hand off of the handle and pull it back towards your chest, carefully watching the door for any shadows that might peek through from underneath. Shifting around, you walk over to your gilded window and huddle back against the glass, tracing your finger across your thigh, to the chilled glass and back down again, wishing that you could have the simple feeling of your flat feeling like a home again, or the ability to feel anything again.

Minutes of your finger's ritual pass before you hear the door to your room softly creak open. The door only opens a fourth of the way before it shuts again being followed by a clink of dishes being set down. Silence lingers in the air mingling with muffled breathes before Simon's warm voice breaks it.

"I know that with how you're feeling you probably won't want to eat anything, but I brought you up some food anyway."

The silence returns before he starts to shuffle back around to leave. You turn your head to look at him as he stops and twists back around.

"Lis- oh...how're you feeling?" Silence. "God that was stupid of me to ask. Of course you're not well." He says, reaching his hands up to his face an dragging them back down.

"I guess I just want to know, in any way, that you're the slightest bit okay. Yeah?" His blue eyes are sincere and are darker with stress, his face is shaded with stubble and his hair has been left un-styled, hanging in front. He looks at you with such a compassion that you haven't seen in anyone's eyes or actions in what seems like an eternity. His tall figure towers over the room as he waits for some sort of acknowledgement or even an answer.

"(Y/N)?" Simon questions as he steps forward and reaches out his hand for you. "Hey, listen, I don't expect you to say anything, alright?" He says, resting his hand on your arm and sitting across from you.

"It's been a long time since you've been out of here. I'm not going to be one to nag and tell you that you need to get out of this room and do something. I don't know what's going on in that beautiful head of yours and I only wish I did. But I know that something has really got a hold on you and has been tearing you apart. I only wish that there was more I could do to help you and make you go back to being that happy, gorgeous person that I know you truly are."

As he takes a breath, you look into his beautifully blue eyes and admire the sincere man that he is.

"I-I can only imagine how hard you've had to fight to hold on. I could never know what it is that's hurting you, but I care so deeply for you and I never wan anything but the best for you. I can't stop thinking about you and how I could even begin to help you. I get so sad just thinking about you being anything other than happy. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, (Y/N). I want you to know that I'm going to keep holding on to the person that I know you really are and I promise you that I will never leave your side, regardless of what's going on. I want to see you in my life and live it with you." He pauses to wipe a tear from his cheek and wraps his arms around you to pull you closer to him.

"I will always be here for you. I know you're tired of...of being and I know that things may seem unsteady right now, but I won't let go of you. I will do everything I can to keep you upright and happy. You don't need to talk or do anything, but I'm going to stay here with you. I don't think I can handle waiting outside your door for one more night. I need to know that the person I love..." His strong face breaks as he looks into your eyes. He brings a hand up to your cheek as tears roll down his cheeks and fall onto his shirt. "...I need to know that the love of my life is okay and is still holding on. (Y/N), I love you so much and I promise you that I will never let you go."